Icarus has been found...

...

2011-03-07T23:32:00.002+08:00

thinking about what I should do after getting A lvl results.....

honestly, I really am lucky to score quite well for my H1s...thank god for that

and I want to thank god for being given a number of choices here and there for uni!

wish others were as lucky....

if not, devastation will seep into my mind....and things will go awry in my mind...

now everyone seems focused on scholarships, uni admissions and applications...I am too of course...but I'm still, yet again, finalising....NTU Biological Sciences, not too bad an option....

applied for that CAAS scholarship my bro advised, but seriously, I have minimal interest in aviation and air traffic control, unlike him...so I was a little cheesed off when he kept asking me to apply....but what the heck, just applied...u never know what might happen

also applied for that MOHH Health Science & Nursing scholarship too, guess the registration I made last year paid off!

as well as that PSC one..I know that PSC is way too hard to get in with my score, but that SAFOS is also what my bro recommended, and yes, that interest is there..I might want it...so just apply! but I need to write that essay asap....

NTU, NUS....yeah, gotta turn my attention to that...NUS can wait, for another 3 more working days......damn long, and they haven't updated some of their website info! it's still dated 2009 for some parts!

need to make my choices right, and 'try' my luck at those hard-to-get scholarships....

it's also a good thing that I pia-ed for that napfa test last year, if I didn't clinch that gold, I wouldn't be here writing this out, or practising my driving on weekdays, thinking abt my courses in uni, flipping thru brochure after brochure

seems that what u do at one moment may or may not affect something in your future. big or small, this still gets to me....probably playing Mass Effect I guess (if u can get it here ;) )

driving is starting to become a routine alr...every weekday and I also have to tahan that muscle joint whenever i drive....shit, hope this 'suan-ness' won't affect me during NS...cause even sitting for too long makes those muscles ache a lot....but recovers after walking for a short while....thankfully

reversing is woohoo tough for now....was damn blur when reversing to the designated parking lots created by the 3 poles the instructor put up....and damn it, it irks me when ppl laugh at u when u make a mistake..cause I banged down the poles once :P

and that ppl are those that are learning!! Don't ever laugh at ppl damn it! You definitely will not like it if ppl do that back to u (snickering or whatsoever, just don't let me see it rrr...) , that feeling is irksome ttm...so that's why don't laugh at ppl, especially those that are learning smth and make a mistake zzz...

but well, in life, tolerance is one key thing to build up, and I'm still in that phase...

hope AhhPer is doing fine, it's been a few days since he enlisted; same goes for Hong and HJ

I guess I'm lucky for now...

not gonna say anything....nothing to say.....too late to regret.....too long already.....believe that this is futile.....mind & heart intially at war.......heart starting to agree.....mind needs to remind itself....blinded...........know this.......look back.....think back.....see it.........think about it......

Our lives are controlled by us, controlling that steering wheel. We are given many things by him. He is there to support us, spiritually, giving us advice, comfort and wisdom. Things that we can settle and do, we do it. Things that are beyond our control, we pray and hope for the best. It's my life, I determine it, it is our choice to steer wherever we want to go, but do be sure that it is for a good cause, not the other way around. I believe that we are born into this world, for him to see how we live our life, how we control our life, interact with others, etc.

this may seem abrupt, but well, this is what I feel about him. This has also taught me on how to appreciate what we are now, even though this feeling may be concealed when we are busy settling problems, feeling uptight. Living life is a purpose...

ok, feeling tired now...been a while since I blogged.....gotta sleep for tmr! finish those essays, exercise, practise driving, swim....who says that you have to work to stay busy..fine, it doesn't earn you money, but come on! practically everyone, including my driving instructor, is asking me about my job! (I'm sure that word "slacker" or the words "so free" and "why never get a weekday job" would probably be in some of your minds right now, don't try to hide it, I can sense it) Call me lazy, but this is the period before I land my butt on that island with that ceremony which has that phrase "Working Life begins now" drilled into every wall. I'm gonna enjoy it while it lasts!

Good and not so good

2011-02-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

back from visiting relatives! more to visit today and tmr! can't wait to play and enjoy spending time with them! :)
taught them how to play monopoly deal! spread the joy ahahas!

I'm not gonna ask already, cause the damn outcome is the same. Now it feels like it's always, not mostly or usually like before.
My patience has shrunk severely, I won't wait for a single reply or whatever already, for I'm done chasing the second or third time. Don't blame me entirely on this, you can ask yourself why. Each party has their own faults, what both didn't do, whatever. If the answer is found, good that you know. Whether you want to do something about it or not, that's your decision. You are who you are, and I can't do anything to change, as it's perfectly up to you to listen and see. I've no right to judge, so I won't criticise.

It's time for me to adapt and get used to this like the rest, since there's no point pondering over something that seems so impossible to happen. Feels like there's no fate. Feels like it's futile
Life is unfair. But if we can do something about it to make something more fair to others, I don't see why not. Then again, it's up to people to choose, interact and take action.
How complicated life can be.

Happy CNY 2011

2011-02-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

新年快乐! 万事如意!

ok i dunno what to type sia...too tired liaoz..
let's pray that this new year won't have so many catastrophes or disasters whatsoever like last year!

~~~good nites~~~

approx 4 months left...

2011-01-08T13:15:00.002+08:00

had a weird dream this morning...

dreamt of taking A lvl results!!!......hmm, can't say that I did bad...flipped someone else's result slip (didn't see the name), before flipping mine...saw some good grades, but 5 of them??? I only took 3 H2 and 1 H1, and my GP grade had a weeirrdd grade, smth I've never seen before....something like a a weird symbol that a "M" that is tilted 45 degrees to the left, and it's underlined. what's more, I won't see my PW and Chinese results on March since I got them last year in '10....so..baffled

ok, this is not a nightmare for sure, but one heck of a weird dream....????????
wonder wat this all means....had dreamt once of O lvl results 2 yrs back, didn't see many fantastic grades and there I got, few As, mostly Bs and a C.

no comments on this, but this better not be a premonition or whatchamacallit, cause I wasn't nervous but lil excited....ah forget it...wait till March and seeeee....

.....................back to earth..................................

lost the enthusiasm for seeking a job, don't really wish to work for KUMON anymore, for now....I just want to work out and work out for now, and u have to admit, it IS boring, but heck....
I need to also get out of the house and hang out more with peeps, whether 4-9 or S02

at least I'm going back for the Open House on the 12th and the 13th, maybe jio some ppl out to take a look perhaps?

nothiing much for the past 5 weekdays, went to BBDC to practise on my Basic Theory....I practically wasted my time there on the 1st day, cause I only did 2 booklets when they said that I can do 6 attempts, but at least 2 booklets, if I rmb correctly. almost passed zzz..u need at least a 63/70 to pass, and I got 60+ and not 63....
2nd day was much better, did more booklets, failed some passed some, happy liao.

on the 5th, went for Evaluation test to determine if I can sit for the BTT, and I passed. no need for cheering, cause this is just a pre-requisite and the real test is more impt.

ok fine I was happy that I passed, made few mistakes. but gotta rmb that BTT is more impt, and the subsequent ones...
went to SP to lunch with Edwin and Haicling, I think they really want to make some of the student population fatttttt sia...they have Mac's, KFC, Starbucks and sooner or later Burger King! they have 5 food courts too wow....and that campus is huge....bet Uni will be even bigger...

after that, we went back and walked to PJ, collected EAGLES and saw Zi Hao and Gabes! better cut ur hair dudes! lol

anddd Thu and Fri....nothing much at home...

ok will be gym-ing with Lyrad, Nyrab, Gniqiah and Niwde later! guarantee that my legs will be sore...didn't run for a long time...

aside from all these, I hope I made the appropriate choice, cause there are still some unsettled questions lingering, unanswered, unknown, to me. I also hope that I'm doing the right thing here...
....114151425139202561518114116161815161891205185119151413125851216815165621
121225...............

gtg liao, cyas!

nothing to see here!lol

2011!

2011-01-01T20:43:00.002+08:00

woot it's 2011 alr!

and I'm back from Malaysia too with my family! lots of places we've been to, and again, spent the 31st in Malacca at Mahkota again! but this time, couldn't see the fireworks and am a little sick too...

i think I got stomach flu again....shouldn't have drunk Coke and ate too much zzz...
kept releasing air, front and back (if u know what I mean), and stomach pains plus diarrhoea (many trips to the toilet)

hope I'll feel better tmr, so that I can go for the class outing!

meanwhile, surf the net, etc etc etc...

new resolutions, quite a couple, but I guess they serve as guidelines...
will type them out soon....so just relax a bit for now and rest and hope my stomach gets better...

oh, and KUMON has finally replied after 3 weeks! lol! *random* :P

End of Part 1

2010-12-27T00:55:00.002+08:00

Back from part 1 of the trip to Malaysia!
trip with family was fun fun fun!

bus rides are long, but not so with playing cards at the spacious back of the bus!
visited places here and there, esp the Firefly Trip at Kota Tinggi!

okay, I can't type much as I really need the sleep alr...part 2 begins in the morning!
8 hours of sitting in the car looking at the road, listening to music...all the way to Sitiawan, 600+ km from S'pore...

this part 1 is really all about gaining weight....part 2 will be putting in effort to lose weight!

gonna wish everyone HNY 2011 when I get back on the 1st!
signing off for now.....and...I'm doing it, even with the haunting of unrealistic dreams...
mind has been getting dreamy when I'm stoning or even sleeping...thinking of scenarios that seem rather impossible given the situation, tsk and sigh
drains my concentration, but it also puts me into a state of temporary comfort..guess that makes the challenge here :/

can't think of this alr, I need to focus on other things too...even though there are some things unanswered...life is really interesting in its own various ways...

kk, gtg liao! cyas soon!

2011 alr? wow

2010-12-23T22:44:00.003+08:00

ok, will be going to Malaysia from the 24th tmr to the 1st of Jan next year! please dun text or call me!

sooo....wishing everyone a very happy Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2011!
enjoy and spend precious time with ur families or with the Lord/Jesus at ur churches/chapels!
:)))))))))

still packing for the trip....time to unwind a bit and get out of the damn house! and also take a break from a lot of things too....my heart feels heavy, but I'm gonna change that and reshuffle my mind properly..

2011 will be a year of discipline for me, apart from going to NS la, also need to build up my endurance too, and on a lot of things....

yep yep, I gotta enjoy this trip wholeheartedly! new resolutions coming up, but thatt....wait till next year :D
and I miss S02 alr :(
hopefully there'll be a trip where we can enjoy ourselves!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year again! 2011 awaits!

2010-12-20T00:30:00.002+08:00

grr....i want to type smth to rant out, but it seems that I can't, parents are making noise...

God forbid? hmm....

sian

2010-12-17T10:49:00.003+08:00

been exercising and reading the Basic Theory book, and still awaiting a response from KUMON
if they still didn't reply, it's time ta call alr, if not I will remain restless for the rest of the 5 months zzz...
either that or maybe join AhPer in his job, or perhaps otherwise some other job...
it seems impossible to sit in front of the com for the whole day! I dunno how some ppl can, but seriously, there is not much lifestyle in staring at a monitor for >6 hours!
gotta get out there and venture around, I neeeeeed to move!

it feels that I am always treading on thin ice with a thickness of a finger, whenever I am talking to ya, unsure of what will happen when I have spoken
but actually, the outcomes so far are the same, or relatively all the time
sian: this word will always be on my mind everytime......don't ask why, because no one even bothers to figure out anyway....or even close to guessing it right, whatever the case is

hmm...was playing Fallout 3 when I came across this:

I am Alpha and Omega
the beginning and the end
I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely

Revelation 21:16

Cherish what I have, enjoy the moments, and ponder on how great it is that we are existing right now, how this world is created and built
that I think will make me more satisfied with life
although some things are beyond my control, hey, I guess that's how choices are created, these carve a path of no return, and adaption...is hard to accept sometimes...

enough 'emo-ing' or whatever you may call it, gotta continue even if the light at the end of the tunnel is dim or bright, if not I'm gonna be stuck in the same predicament, stagnant every time...despite this, some things will not change even if the journey seems impossible

what to do now...

2010-12-10T21:27:00.002+08:00

prom's over...well, a really memorable one! managed to take pics with many peeps that I rmb, although not everyone zzz...

first time to have prom, and I guess it was pretty lively, partly thanks to the Muttons! never fail to make us laugh! should tune in to 987FM whenever I turn on the radio, from 4pm onwards

I'm really gonna miss my class.....sigh....yeah we've been through hell and made it together...and now another phase of our lives is about to begin...work, NS, etc...I'm gonna miss you guys...zzz

moral of the story: go out for gatherings whenever the opportunity arises! and when most are free I guess...chalet??? maybe ask manda

come to think of it, it's the 2nd week of the 5 months I have, and I'm quite bored. to. death. seriously.

"Idle hands are the devil's tools" -- so I need to find a job asap and not idle around looking at Fb pics or refreshing Twitter/Fb home pages!

well, on a lighter note, did managed to register at BBDC, get a driving licence, read up the highway code, guess I'm back to studying again...

better than nothing, guess I really need to fill up the huge void left behind by the rigorous JC study curriculum..there's really no pressure anymore, and I kinda miss that, or what every graduated JC student may face (not everyone of course)

maybe I can read up skill books of all sorts to gain more knowledge, cooking, simple repair, cleaning (gosh it sounds like the Sims, only but a 1000... times more complex :P)

maybe I can start to pick up the reading habit and read newspapers, catalogs, magazines, u name it

maybe I can start to prepare myself for the working life, get a bitter taste of the cold and cruel outside world of politics and gain more experience

maybe I should stop looking at Fb pics or new tweets, get a grip, move on, stop thinking so much and get on with it! advance further in life and keep a lookout for opportunities that God has planted in my everyday life and that I am so ignorant or preoccupied in my own world to even notice at all...yeah....I gotta be harsh on myself this time....I'm trapped in my own fantasy world...seems impossible to shun away from or suppress it....the mundane lifestyle of waking up at 9am plus plus, breakfast, playing, watching TV, lunch, playing, dinner, playing, playing, playing.....

I need to look at things from a broader perspective....at least that's what the Zodiac signs or whatever predictions u may call it....

well they are rather accurate, but on the other side, humans are just way way too complex to be categorised or properly defined...the different life experiences, bring-ups by your family, interactions, what we see, hear and perceive...yes, I've been reading up these Zodiac stuff (not on Fb please, I think those are just rather shallow, I look at the ones on Twitter, but you can say the same thing, stiLL! it's better than Fb!)

they tell u how the different ppl in their own respective Zodiac signs behave and all, and honestly, it's quite true, but don't fully believe it, as I've mentioned beforehand

I've tried to refer to what my impressions and observations are on the people I know, and wow...intriguing! many facts they mentioned do somehow perhaps match and some don't cause I don't really see it, cause it really shows the behaviours and mindsets of different people

gah, dun feel like giving examples here zzz...lazy to type and some may not be accurate (the word 'true' shouldn't be in here to describe)

go see for yourself if you have the time and have a Twitter account..some are reassuring, some can tell you how to perhaps deal with ppl of different Zodiac signs, and some can remind you on what not to do with different ppl

right....u can tell I'm bored and don't really type so much (this is probably the first few lol)

now....I gotta relax more until the start of 2011 lol, lazy spoilt brat u may say, but hey, exercising is a necessity so I'm working on not being a couch potato like last time in my younger years!

this period is about toughening up, sobering up, training up and many "ups" for my physical and mental ability...some things I have to let go, even though it takes time....I believe time is a double-edged sword, it can heal, but it can also hurt...the time passing by and not spending it with someone and not knowing each other's real intentions (spending here doesn't mean sitting next to each other, it can also mean just knowing each other's presence too you know)

I'm not gonna hide it already, not gonna put my words in white so people won't see my 'secret' words or communication

words spoken on a lifeless machine here are also ineffective in saying the correct message, so I'm not going to 'spill out' my feelings and cause another misunderstanding again here

I don't have much to say here, because it's not gonna help or change much, especially someone's mindset or thinking, it's his/her own individual thoughts

I just want to know you more, that's all, talk to you whenever an anticipated opportunity arises

this may sound rather cheesy or awkward, but, it would be enjoyable to talk

right, I guess it's time to get off liao...another day, another 24 hours of our lives spent..ok I don't know what to type alr, hence the abrupt ending!...tmr awaits, and I wonder how should I spend my time now...gotta plan...

cyas!

over and out

2010-12-05T12:14:00.002+08:00

As finally over, studies finally over, 12 years of compulsory education are over!

what's next? the future awaits...
5 months of free time === can be quite sian, no pressure of studies anymore at this point of time
awaiting NS...can go out, play, etc, in the meantime...

so many events happened: Ah Hong's B'Day celebration, HP movie, Steamboat at Mr Lim, Movie Marathon...wow

prepare for prom...ok this is the first time since I had no Sec Sch prom..hope it will be fun, and obviously eye-catching ha

Job seeking: manage to find one particular place: Kumon
potential job for a tutor, since I was there last time, quite long back...have to take a look and not spend the 5 months exercising and playing, and perhaps going out...
sometimes, things are really really confusing, to the extent that one can't figure out what one's true feelings
oh well, I just hope whatever I've hoped for will somehow come true...whatever outcome it is, to put it simply, it shows that things won't really work out or not...and that I did not handle it well...
well, life is never that simple, no quickloads or quicksaves like in games, no shortcuts

okay....time to relax again and await tmr! see you guys at prom!

intricate state....

2010-11-17T22:11:00.002+08:00

7 papers down, 4 to go...

played yesterday and today zzz....need to go back to studies alr....can't wait for CSE to be over!!..argh....

As are not over!...but I've been pondering over this since this morning..

What am I going to do after As? that is excluding training and probably work....

i really, really, really don't know......mind is totally perplexed....question marks here and there...???

maybe it's cause i slept for almost 11 hours zzz...10:30 to 9 plus in the morning...lagi best lol

i really got to plan ahead and choose my decisions, or else it's gonna be 5 miserable and confusing months of waiting to take the ferry....
guess im too bored liao....

gotta make use of my time wisely already....damn those new games are dissttrraaccttiinngg...
New Vegas, Black Ops, AC: Brotherhood

3 new games that are rather distracting, and those earworms from the music in the first 2 games are well...irritating, especially during the exam!
lololol....something I am still unable to overcome...

right...i guess it's about time to sleep and wake up early to revise chem...no more stupid surprises like in paper 2 and 3, need to prepare for the worst, since there're quite a number of topics that are not tested yet....

why am I still getting episodes of thoughts again? even with the heavy suppression, they still come back...sigh..guess I cannot be too bored, or my mind will wander to that again...

Temporary Shutdown

2010-10-31T18:37:00.002+08:00

Will not be touching this space from November onwards, till the end of A levels or after the first week of terror....Chem, GP, Bio Maths.....

Tmr begins the week of hardcore planned revision....preparation is still slow, but I'm glad that improvements are gradually seen in my maths alr...need to focus a bit more for the other 4 subs....esp Chem...can't say that I have a good feeling that this year's paper will be easy....maybe I'm paranoid...well....this is for a good reason lol......

cutting down on Fb too....10mins per login or less...it's for the better....

time to gear up, prepare and to 'kill' the papers, so that the annoying overwhelming feeling of 'wah, this is difficult' can be thwarted.....

jiayous S02! and to those taking A levels!

the future is ours to mould and shape....let's make things right this time and do what we can!

until then, after As...will other things be settled....dun get distracted alr!

cyas!

Break day...

2010-10-21T18:41:00.002+08:00

took a break from the spree of staying in school.....played for about the whole day!....sinful ttm lol....

consolidation of work is not much actually, just that I hope that my worries for the A level papers won't really be out!....
yeah, even though it's a so-called rest day, again..thought a lot about where we are now, at this juncture...
losing focus over these few days......I'm starting to lose my original mental focus alr....and well, all i can say to myself is this:
Stop trying to figure out already, and face it. I can't do anything about it at this point of time, since it's obvious that any attempt will not make things easy, especially for your easily-distracted and wondering mind. I can only sit there and only wonder whether I am of any help at all; the rest is up to the other party. That's their own lives they're running, so stop poking further at it and analysing. I can only go with the flow and must stop anticipating every minute detail or action shown, let things be as it should be. Whether I am talked to or not, or whether how much effort I have put in in trying to communicate, is the result of my rather foolish actions you did last time, and I can't really do much about it. There's no quicksave or quickload like in a game, this is life; what's done's done, and one of the things I have to do is to adapt.
It seems like I'm lying to myself, talking about facing it, and in the end, I did nothing but make things worse. I need to re-develop my discipline again, and only hope for the best....that things are fine on the other side....
I feel like I'm a lost soul, searching and seeking for something that may be there or not.........

well....that's part of what I feel now, getting part of this huge load off my chest....and I may have to cast this aside first and think of that bungling obstacle we call As...
I just hope that at the end of the long tunnel, things will be better than I thought, and also that it is mutual on both sides.....

all right........let's get back already...I've got a lot to catch up from this long break, gotta prepare and ready up. Jiayous! :)

21 days...

2010-10-19T22:10:00.003+08:00

about 21 days from now to the first A level paper for my class, other Chem peeps and me... (those taking Sciences)

this time period will soon zoom past very quickly, and we are here studying...mugging......
well, farewell assembly has already finished about a few days back! I'm honestly going to miss my class :(
even though there's some friction here and there, overall, this class is a hell load of fun and laughter!!! that's something to be really proud of here! S02 ROCKSSSSSS!!!!!
Pictures taken, memories recalled, trip down memory lane...i can alr imagine what we are after As...! the future is ours to embrace, after As!

now.....it's just maths, maths maths, and other subjects. Mostly maths, cause I don't want a stupid borderline pass or fail that I've gotten for the past 2 years...that's really damn sian....
other subjects....GP especially, need to relook and revamp my stuff...seeing how hard Ah Per is studying for maths makes me ponder over this wild card-like subject....
CSE is still ok....but I'm worried about the themes 1 and 2, got this feeling that these will be in essay qns, or worse, cross-thematic types.....the horror for CSE students, both H1 and H2...
Bio, an unsure subject....cause content needs to be relooked at and memorised consistently...if not then it's a no-go alr.....
Chem, my strongest, but!...looking and doing the other JCs' Prelim papers, makes me all jittery, that either this year's paper will be hard, mostly concept-based qns, or the other students in these JCs are so strong and prepared in their chem, that they can score well in the As, and in the end, it's us who lose out....can imagine the competition here...zzz...
u gotta admit, pj's paper is much simpler and more straightforward as compared to theirs....so whoever said that chem will be easy, u need to reconsider...well, that's what I feel...

I guess that the gradual effort we put in is really interrupted by the anxiety and the thought that we are not fully prepared...well, for me, I'm not gonna let it repeat again like O levels, this is alr the crossroads of my life and I should've woken up and start placing more effort for my future...we all have to....
encouragement..positive thinking...ppl we can talk to to lower our worries...these are all needed here....it's hard to just venture out there alone, facing this obstacle....
this is where family and friends come in....they may not always be there, but their presence, advice and concern, are really needed...

well, I guess it's about time to turn in and face the mock exam tmr, see how the effort I put in can be expressed through doing the questions correctly...

I'm here if you really need me or my help, someone to talk to alone or to help when needed. If you really do, I'll do what I can to help within my capability. That is, if your decision falls under this.

???

2010-10-10T22:51:00.005+08:00

Compromise..compromise..compromise...understand..understand..understand..careful...careful..careful..

some of the words that have been circulating around my mind since this evening....

I do what I can, but we all have our limitations
so about these, we need to understand..
we're not flawless
we cannot always be there all the time whenever and wherever
we still lead our own lives
it's not an issue of incompetence/whatever kind that is degrading
because the effort we put in should send a clear message that is enough to be understood
if not, then that will really make life even more complicated than it is

hence the 3 words as mentioned above
this is not forcing something down the throat or forcing a belief/thinking/whatever it may be..this is mutual understanding
this is how it all began and how it will lead

move on

2010-10-05T22:57:00.002+08:00

fight on....fight on...
that's what's been going on through my mind...just about 2 months...and it will end...and also another thing arises, solving that stagnant thing that's been there over a long time...

It's hard, I'm doing what I can to stop...it's not a damn excuse here, it's going against what you felt...

but

it makes you stronger, tougher and somehow in a rather negative way to put it, more stone-hearted...
if ppl can do it, why not I?

Few questions have popped up in my head
not gonna say here, not until after everything is over, to say the least

Doing nothing doesn't mean I don't care/dislike/hate you, it feels that it's the only way to prevent misunderstandings and affecting each other, especially with that huge As in front of us, it's not going to work out...
why? seems that doing something always ends up as something bad, and it's back to square one (or zero), that's why

that's all I want to talk about...others are worth bringing up, but now's not the time...you do well, I do well, we do well, that's fine..sacrifices must be made, no matter how bad the repercussions may be to me, cause this is our own future we are carving here, and affecting someone else's is just wrong, definitely wrong...

ok, let's do this

mock exams this week, do what I can do to the best within my ability

sunburn!

2010-09-27T22:52:00.002+08:00

just came back from class outing! tired ttm man...

Sentosa in the morning, Vivo in the afternoon and Serangoon in the evening at a restaurant!
>12 hours away from home, probably the longest ever!

Got quite a sunburn in the morning from the scorching sun, playing handball and captain's ball...as well as the fun time in the sea! (won't forget the salty taste of seawater)
Rained at about 2 plus in the afternoon, you can imagine the strong sea breeze blowing in and sending some annoying sand particles flying towards your face....
Lunch at Vivo and then did window shopping...zzz, sure wish I had more moolah in my possession, guys' clothing are way expensive.....

decided to go to Chomp Chomp after a last-minute decision...waited for the bus 317 to arrive and in the end!...."closed due to pest control and spring cleaning"...immediate turn-off......
instead we went to the nearby restaurant that sells chicken rice and woo!...thoroughly enjoyed the spicy food (dun care whether lips are swollen or not, cause I like it!....)
had a lot of laughs too!...wow, wish I can spend more time outside with the class....lotsa things to talk about..

talked until about 9pm and had a lift from Belle's mom to Commonwealth...thanks again Belle! and your mom! (Ah Per, HJ and me)
also met Xiu Hui on the way back...coincidental....

well, starting to feel tired....gonna surf a bit more of the net and hit the sack zzz...
good times really pass too fast...gonna be back in the race on Wednesday....getting back results...wonder how we all fared this time....

2010-09-20T20:34:00.002+08:00

woot! didn't really blog for some time!
honestly, i dunno what else to write other than talking about exams and stuff, or about the stress we students are getting....

so far the papers are......ok...
CSE, Bio Paper 2 & 3, Chem Paper 3
and Chem Paper 2's tmr...so haveta prepare, esp the planning qn

seems that I can't seem to finish both bio papers...some questions not fully answered....
cse hopefully can pass...at least I didn't choose the WRONG qn now ha!
Chem was ok, manageable...but left small parts not answered properly....
well, those are over...

Maths was a killer....even with the practice I had the day earlier didn't really help much...lost >50 marks, 35 a sure-goner....wow....owned!

but not just yet..there's still paper 2 on wed, and I'm not going down without some hard practice on those stats qns, even though the TYS qns are somewhat scary (P&C for example!)
plan to do maths after that, hopefully amanda can stay back too! also consulting mdm song with her, so better pia some stats qns to ask her :/

and of course, not forgetting, my sleepless nights last week!
had that ridiculously long-lasting blocked nose, and guess what, Wednesday morning: woke up at 2am, can't sleep afterwards.....win
now it's okay alr, guess that nasal spray works well..and hopefully, I can enjoy sleeping instead of dreading it like last week..cause it seems that the sinus gets inflamed for no good reason and pop!

right...that's probably what happened last week...and now back to work..jiayous! needa motivate myself again to not let my train of thought get disrupted...gaining more control alr...! smth I didn't have last time..

and to end this....what happened recently and how I acted was just....wrong...feels wrong...it's like back in sec sch again....talking about the same thing time and again...

not

this

time

I'm not gonna do what I've been doing recently, I gotta stop myself from doing this shit...cause that's not me at all...

right...back! adios and good luck!

18

2010-09-02T18:42:00.003+08:00

want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes! :)

esp S02 and my family! for the presents, songs and everything!

this week is a really memorable week for me, from feeding Hong and Ah Per the chocolate and cherry with my mouth, to taking pics with my cousin who just graduated, and to getting punctured by needles during acupuncture....wow...this is a really memorable 18th birthday celebration! no doubt about that!

about the acupuncture...

asked the doc about my left ring finger, on whether acupuncture will help....shock of my life!

had my left arm, abdomen, shins and legs poked!

i tried to take a pic with my mobile, reaching for it which was in my left pocket, then my shirt that was originally pulled up, dropped back down to the needles.......ow....

it covered my abdomen and the shirt had touched the needles, imagine the prickly feeling and ant bite pain (6 needles)....zzz...hell of an experience lol...

want a second time???.........well........will consider that.....

failed to take a pic anyway, and after that, my right shin had a little bleeding from the needle...feeling a little painful, but it's okay now....

went back to school today to get GP essay, but in the end, studied all the way with Per till 4pm then left....(Liang actually came with Per in the morning, then left with An Na when we couldn't get the essays)

nothing to say........dozed off a little while reading lol...hard to concentrate with the hot envt out there....

swam for a while and here I am...

anyway, once again, thank you everyone for the wishes!

back to studying later...GP ah GP...

Rather put off by the Cs thing alr...need to put away distractions...no matter how close they are...and how much you prefer someone over the rest....I'm sure we're all aiming for good results in Prelims and As...

I can't do anything but just.....do..nothing...but just try to figure out what you're thinking....honestly I'm too simple a guy to comprehend but...all I'm saying is that it somehow feels different...and at the same time, it still feels the same...

Time's a commodity

2010-08-13T22:35:00.002+08:00

84 days left, exactly 12 weeks....starting from next monday....makes us wonder how time passes so fast...and how long i haven't blogged yet

been having less than 6 hours of sleep for the past two days...and that killed my concentration zzz...hard to think properly due to fatigue....

thought of smth that i dreamt for the past few days, having similar encounters (lucid dream perhaps?)...and that smth really makes me wonder....is that going to be true? is it going to even happen at all? cause right now, it's practically still the same, and I find that encounter hard to believe at all...not gonna happen so soon I guess, but somehow...I hope it will...because having similar dreams means some thing has changed, and weird enough, left eyebrow keeps twitching from out of the blue when I do my work...what does that all mean anyway....zzz...
aiiee...whatever man....that work pile is still increasing and I still feel guilty that I haven't really touched mathsssss.....hong and jas kept pestering me to do do do....I kept doing chem or bio instead...*wail* can't run away from it....lol

what he said really was relevant to me....im starting to get worried about GP alr...probably even for CSE...all that imbibing, recalling, writing, wow...shows that I'm not really studying much, and GP is that damn subject that will drop if u dun have that mood and energy, since doing a damn essay or a compre with a gong-gong mind is gonna break u down

always tell myself that i must work hard...must do this and that, even my bro, and even the guys, tell me to not think so much
i always tell myself not to be complacent, hence the negative remarks i tell myself..but that has really caused my mind to wander all around about my future and results...wowz...haywire...

gotta look at the present and do smth about it, work work work, with a little play inside too lol
bro got new games again.....wah, more distractions to handle at home alr....and there are also new games that i want and they arrive in Nov wth!!!

Obviously, He's really putting me to the test, trying to see how I handle work, distractions, communication with ppl, handling relationships with ppl...the lot to worry about....

as i break away from games gradually and study and revise, I gotta learn to prioritise and strategise properly, or else all that revision will be up to naught...also seek out that motivation to strive....cause doing this without something to spur u on, can make u a dead person and at a dead's end

ok, im feeling dead alr....sleep bah, tmr pway a bit of games, then do those revision papers...and I WILL do MATHS!!! (Ah Per, I hope u're reading this!!)

Mind in a whirl...

2010-07-31T00:06:00.002+08:00

lousy long week we all had....faced fridays twice a week and it...well, nearly wiped us all out, tired and shagged.....

night study is like practically having biscuits and milo...yucks...getting sick of biscuits alr....hopefully got bee hoon next week man....always feeling hungry after a few hours, like right now zzz.....

sigh, mind is all filled up with thoughts here and there....how long can I keep up this endurance???
seriously thinking that I'm thinking too much....people's comments, remarks...omg....why am I feeling so pissed just after a short remark?!
temper has been of a very short fuse lately....guess that's stress, hard to manage and control...esp to keep the stupid peace around me, not blowing up in the process, can I just tahan and tahan and tahan for the rest of my life at this rate!?
somehow i thought that i should just shut the hell up and not say a bloody word next time isn't it? that way i dun have to face comments that can trigger that short fuse so easily, life will be SO much better if I keep mum and nod my head involuntarily whenever the teacher is teaching....sensitive I am, but sometimes I just feel like saying this:

THINK before you even speak in the first place, even if it pisses you off or whatever you feel

that way we can all avoid these kind of unnecessary thinking and misunderstandings

you can say that I need to change here, of course, but that takes time, I can't change myself instantly or quickly like a chameleon changing its skin colour to suit other ppl
I'm gonna be like someone adapting to other ppl's needs and desires so quickly that I don't know who I really am
nowadays, I dunno why, but I just feel like blowing up to let ppl know my firm stance on some things...fine, 'don't make your problem my problem' or 'not my problem' , some would say, but that says a lot of things (go figure), because that is really insulting, especially to me, it's like as if I'm just an idiot trying to talk aimlessly, wtf do you want?!

Watch what you say around people, it may be your individual right cause it's your damn mouth, but not everyone can be all nice and take your words lightly and not to heart, we just don't show it in your face, we don't want things to turn ugly, in which at that moment, life just sucks

I'm only pissed off at ppl's actions or words here, not the people themselves (let me make my stand here clear, so it will avoid any unseen potential misunderstandings)
I don't want to dislike people over a few small comments, that's not fair to them at all

what I'm told to do, I'll tell myself two words: 'Heck care' (a nicer way to put it) and move on damn it!!!!!

need to clear my messed up mind about these redundant thoughts as this will really put myself in a negative light, being distracted and affected such that it will affect my concentration....
looking back at what I wrote, it seems that I'm getting more scary, cause I don't show my negative feelings that explicitly, I just take it in, and when I'm elsewhere, that's when the 'dark' side of me shows, like here....
there's seriously no other way to release my anger, playing games to release stress won't work here, they're virtual and it only satisfies you just so much, as losing yourself in the game is as good as losing your mind and sense of differentiating reality and the virtual world (schizophrenic much?)
esp since the As are less than a 100 days away, and with more work to do, games are not really of muchhelp and has become more time-consuming...but that doesn't mean that it's all work, no play...work-life balance

I've still got a lot to say, but that's enough for now already. I'll take those words in and not to heart, I'll do what I can to do that, because it's really hard for me to just forget like that, that's just me, respect that and things will be fine, no problem, comprendo?

ok, it's really late now, gonna have to go back to school for the Nanyang Concept Test, and also see some potential Uni courses that are of interest...bye....

2010-07-25T14:48:00.003+08:00

Wow, have been staring at the post entry screen for hours....dunno wat to type lol...

been doing hw during night study for the whole week and at home...the beginning seems really tiring at this point of time...everytime i reach home, i feel too tired to do any work....zzz....luckily that's only on weekdays....

the school library cubicles are simply one of the best spots to do work! just that u need to go there early if u want to do with ur classmates lol...
friday seems to be the best day to do work at night, as there're not many ppl there (that was only for last friday from what i see, so....Disclaimer here!)

rrr...have to memorise stuff for Tuesday's Bio lecture...6 chapters to go, and that Biomolecules chapter has too many structures and functions to rmb!...zzz....

ok.....minor quick update! back to work...

119 days and counting...

2010-07-11T00:23:00.004+08:00

mid-year exams are over not long ago, and we already got back some of our results....

and with the alumni talks on last Thursday...inspiring..motivating...it had set me thinking these few days on a lot of things....future....goals....results....these three things have been circulating around my mind...and it made me realise smth...

it's how we test ourselves that we can see our true abilities blossom and unleash...step-by-step as we pluck up our determination to strive on, that's how we can achieve

that determination is challenging to obtain, and especially to sustain it....it seems that the drive to do well needs to be constantly 'fuelled' in a sense, and that is hard for me to attain that level...

i have so many motivations around me...and i dun even have the ability to hang on and work hard consistently....my parents never made it to university (no A levels), my bro has good A Level results (A for GP, Chem, H2 German; B for H1 Physics and PW; C for H2 Maths --- He never was good at maths, that's what he told me), my cousin's results wasn't able to allow him to enter any of the 3 local Us.....

they're all around me, and somehow I'm unable to feel such sources of motivation....

what I've heard from school and family, telling that it's not too late, 119 days and counting down...less than 4 months to pick myself up...i need to grab hold of whatever time I have to do the best I can, and so can everyone else...sustain those grades that are good, and pull those that need to have be improved on...and also to knock some sense into my blur-blur mind to not repeat the same grave mistake again, or else, it's the end, and I've wasted my time and effort to be even in a rigourous JC curriculum....

it's time to wake up and open our eyes to reality; stop lying to yourself as it will not bring much good in the long-run like we take it for granted; face it and do it

well well well...

2010-06-25T21:48:00.003+08:00

well, never blogged for quite some time...have been revising since after the ACID camp...

ACID camp was a blast and smth to really enjoy, helping these challenged ppl to cheer them up, work past their disabilities and have fun!

Shanghai Trip was smth to rmb too, ridculously long time of queuing, walking with bags in front for hours....having back pain after that...lol, had a great time with everyone there!

What I got back from these 2 trips: A bad back, a swollen thigh joint that still hurts till today

even hurts when I bow, sit or stretch...gotta start doing those flexibility exercises my dad does since he hurt his back...

photos of the trip will be on Fb, got 1113 pics (including several videos)

and today...did a really grave mistake for the first time ever....stupid blur me....how could I misread the bloody instructions?!

.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

nothing to say, but I'll make sure I learn hard from this lesson, and not do that in A levels, I promise myself that, no doubt about it...

if i can even pass with an E, well...that's good

this had started my drive to work again, seems that so far failure is the drive for me to work hard...gotta be smth else to spark up my focus....

gotta get Bs or As for the 3 H2, or at least a C, that's what I told myself...

seems challenging, but no pain, no gain

this is a test for myself, and it's gonna start tomorrow, the beginning.....

2010-06-02T15:58:00.008+08:00

Haven't been blogging for some time alr....must say that a lot of things happened between this time period...College Day, GP MYE, Mr Lim's Wedding on the 29th, being super late for CSE lecture yesterday, Bio and maths lecture today.....yeah....lots...of...events....

sigh...

i dunno how im feeling right now....mind feels like there're a thousand thoughts wandering about in my head...

what happened yesterday at home....forget it...fuck man....seriously, i know i can't seem to find a lot of stuff at home, but can u don't make it seem like i'm blaming you? i may have STM a lot of times, but this time, i find what u said is really unnecessary!

i noe i may have no right to shout or even raise my voice a little, but it seems that i can't even do that, not even once

even just attempting to do that, and u get all angry and all that...seriously i feel fucked up...

I apologise for this, u guys are the greatest parents to me, but sometimes being unable to voice up is really wth; even the slightest raise will cause a spark...and well, im living with that since im born, and I can't do anything

can't help it, but just want to vent my frustrations here, no one is to blame except myself

i gotta live with this for the rest of my life, seems like it, maybe i should see a counsellor? considering, but not now...

also thinking about smth else for the past few days....just want to say this:

Whatever you do, that's your choice. I can't do much except to ask, the rest is all up to you. I just do what I can to help.

But can you simply reply promptly next time? Or just notify that you need time to think about it, cause you may be having difficulty answering at that very moment? That's all

If not, I'm always going to keep guessing whether it's you, and in the end, it's mostly someone else asking me smth

ok, feeling much better now...gotta pack finish for Shanghai, seems that the temperature is extreme, according to Mr W Chan...

see you guys in a few weeks or sooner, hopefully i can buy back some goodies...

2010-05-21T22:00:00.002+08:00

College Day officially starts tmr! and...for us, have to report at 11:30am! wah......so early to begin with, not sure about the rest but I think they probably have to report at this time as well, one last rehearsal I think.....

whole week was pure fatigue.....today supposed to hand in the GP summary and I wrote a page for Passage 1...but little for Passage 2...oh shit...didn't refer examples and to passage....gonna die when Mr Siraj returns the paper!....owned......

today's rehearsal was much better than on Wednesday...the latter was total chaos zzz......everything's almost gone haywire....ahhh, forget it.....

whole AV got a stern reminder (equivalent to scolding, but euphemism here) today during morning assembly in front of the whole school...can't say anything....but we all shared the blame here....sigh...learning experience as they said....

ok, gonna play a while then sleep for college day....weekend is packed with tmr's College Day and this Sunday's pre-ACID camp....wah...got chem TYS and Maths tutorial to go thru on Monday....owned....maybe more to come, but teachers, please hold ur homework handouts for this week!!! got GP exam on thursday and I haven't really prepared yet.... :(

okay...cyas...!

I'll adhere to that, for friendship...it just seems so fragile now...

in check...

2010-05-14T22:29:00.002+08:00

zzz...tired from whole week....legs are feeling sore.....

had College Day Rehearsal just now....hectic but with loads o laughs too with juniors!

SPA on Thursday was relatively okay, didn't screw up, hope that 15% won't be totally gone.....

zzz...yawning as I type this post, gotta make this quick and sleep to recuperate....

The rigour of J2 life is starting to hit everyone, and we can't help but worry gradually everytime about the fast-approaching As...this week is somewhat less stressful, unlike a few weeks earlier when we were spammed ttm with homework...but that GP MYE is starting to make me panic a little....
ok..aside from work...mind is bogged up with countless thoughts here....seems hard to thwart them, but I'm starting to gain some control already....can my mind ever stop imagining and having ear-worms everytime?!

also, hearing from GP: 'Humans have insatible desires and wants', so recently told myself: I really should be content with what the situation is now, it's better than in the past already.

Even though sometimes things may seem awry, just be happy with what you have and stop thinking of more...give it up and face it. People lead their own lives, and you can't blatantly and instantly judge/perceive that as something against you; it's not right at all and obviously, it's really jumping to conclusions.
the mind seems to keep replaying and thinking again and again without fail...still fighting that, I can win and thwart it, for the greater good and for a clearer and disciplined mind...

I need a religion, seriously. Easy to just say it out like that, but from what I understand for a long time, I hope that it can be something to calm my mind and confide in a god that will help to lead me and advise me in the right way. That will help me be a better person. Obviously, no god is a gumball machine; you can't just get something all the time with a snap of a finger, that's not correct.
Exposed to several religions from at home and around my environment, even my parents say it's entirely up to my choice to confide in one. One thing is that my parents have each of their own religion, and they're together, hahas....(random.....)

right....i think that's enough already....gotta sleep and pia for the weekend....gambatte!

2010-05-08T12:02:00.002+08:00

zzz...haven't been posting for about 2 weeks already....homework to be cleared every weekend...

this month's going to be really busy for my CCA...College Day, SC Investiture rehearsals, and now the recent Masquerade concert...stayed up to 9pm!..zzz....

also got word that some of us needa go to UCC in person to see to the equipment and all that!....

one huge problem I find worrying is the A Level Chem Prac on Thursday, and the event will have rehearsals on Tuesday and Wednesday evening to night!...

so have to pia my hw this weekend...and of course, for sure will have to go out again with family...oh well....bo pian...sian....

had NAPFA as well...just need to get 230cm (which is so far from what I've achieved) and I can clinch that Gold...been doing leg raises in the gym and jumping to train up...which really starts to make my joints ache....like how I trained for pull-ups since last year till now, I hope doing SBJ will be about the same too, except that it's much less than a year to train...

also went to Sakura with PW group and with Liang and Belle, and after that went to Istana to support Chris too...nice place to be and also saw Mr President and his wife! first time in person!

zzz...off to pia hw already...dun want any more piling alr...and also prepare for Chem SPA...ciaos....

2010-04-24T00:04:00.003+08:00

long week...little sleep...homework overload!....

gotta sleep alr and wake up early to do homework!...

just gonna list them out: ( * represents top priority, this is to remind myself)

1) GP essay*
2) Filling up GP Notebook*
3) 2 CSE Essays* + 1 (optional, but gotta do it somehow)
4) Chem TYS on TE and Group VII*
5) Chem Ionic Equilibria Tutorial* (Why? cause probably going thru on Monday)
5) Bio Apps 2C Tutorial + Summary
6) Maths Weekend Assignment on Apps of Integration*
7) Maths Complex No. Tutorial*

That's about all, and I gotta do it within the next 2 days, and have PTM tmr and Lunch with family on Sunday!
Need the time management here!...

was engrossed with this ST article on the forum:
http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/Story/STIStory_514733.html

read it if ya like, it's been ongoing and becoming quite a big scene, if u ask me...

ok, gotta sleep!...zzz...nites!

with the current situation, I have to be really careful, dun want to have abrupt and wrong actions that will affect this delicate matter...forget and forgive...and do what I can to restart...
thank you for giving this chance...

2010-04-10T23:20:00.002+08:00

back to the long and routine-like week of school after Common Tests...zzz...

NAPFA test on 4th May, and PE's been real tiring......all to get at least a Silver or Gold....to avoid an 8 week PTP lol...

Hopefully the thigh won't be a problem then, cause it still hurts a little, ran too much, or just placed too much pressure on it while climbing stairs.....

Work hasn't been given too much unlike before Common Tests, so far ok...but maths has been quite a obstacle....spent quite a lot of time on that Vectors weekend assignment just now....this is not good at all.....can be practice, but in the long run, that can be a problem....
mind feeling tired after that....so gotta sleep soon, and perhaps for once!...wake up early to tackle homework lol....always lying down in bed idling, then unknowingly fall back to sleep and wake up an hour or so later....

feel like swimming tmr, that feeling had better remain since I didn't exercise today.....gotta finish Chem TYS and other stuff that can be completed beforehand....

work life balance hahas...and speaking of which, played Monopoly with hong and jas, when Mr Siraj came up to the sanctuary with some ppl (holding video cams!)....oh nooo....he caught us red-handed, and said "Wah! You guys are relaxing huh....thought you have work!..."
hong said: "need to have a work-life balance!" and we all laughed!
Well, b4 he led the ppl away, saw him clench his fist and a momentary amused look for a brief second!....the thought of him highlighting this 'incident' in class on next Monday sure sent chills down our spines, along with laughter.....can't wait! (asking to die on Monday zzz...)
but then, he mentioned he's going abroad to settle some matter next week...either way, we'll still be one of the topics he'll mention when he gets back...moral of the story: need to do well for his class compre assignment!!!

apart from that....
sort of thought about this week's Assembly....in the future, we have to multi-task at work, and yet now, while studying, we're strongly enforced (or should I say heavily advised) to focus on one thing....so??
life's gonna get harder after As, NS and University......long way to go.....zzzz....

hope everyone's doing fine....
made up my mind about smth on Thursday night, need to focus and think of one thing at a time, if not, my life's gonna be very topsy-turvy, simultaneous bombardment of thoughts.....seriously mind-draining....also, when can I attain that aspired ability of self-controlled focus?

2010-04-01T23:07:00.002+08:00

Helluva week....got back some of the results...GP, Maths, Chem....

E for GP and Maths...most saddening was GP Paper 2....sucks to the core....19/50

Well, on one side, I'm glad I passed...but on another side, there's this feeling that I've not worked hard enough...still, on the bright side, I now know which subjects to focus more on...and which sections I'm seriously terrible at!

This week has been nothing but sensing the atmosphere as very stressed....some didn't meet our expectations, some did, but all I can say is, you did to your best ability

Working hard seems to be never enough for this year, motivation is yet another part to attain, having to tell yourself everyday without fail that today's a new day to strive on...mind-draining but seemingly achievable...

I don't know how to continue, but to those who are out there worrying (including me), it's not over yet. Use the time over this short break to rest (seriously, REST [refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion or labor], we need it) and to pick yourself up...PW results are approaching but that does not mean we have to worry for the whole of next week before getting them...it's all up to yourself.

Jiayous S02!

Burning the Midnight Oil...

2010-03-30T00:52:00.003+08:00

Gasp, I'm still doing the English Week Competition Essay which is supposed to be handed in today! (Technically)

Luckily, I finished Chem and Maths, but this draggy essay is starting to give me headaches already...and less than 5 hours of sleep!

So gonna die in Bio Lecture later at 8am! Hopefully, I don't fall asleep for Bio and CSE lecture! Appropriate times for my brain to have lapses of microsleep! lol!

Ok, gotta wrap up the essay and sleep already! Sigh! Start of the week, and we're all so busy with work! Also hope I do well or at least an Ok for Common Tests! Same for the rest of u guys out there!

cyas! Sian ttm man....

Over!

2010-03-25T23:06:00.002+08:00

Common Tests are finallyy over....woooo!...

Bio and Maths were unforgiving, especially in their amount of marks for some questions...sian ttm...

Zzz....too tired to think already, so I'll keep this short...

Flu since Monday....terrible cause I kept sneezing during the CSE and Chem Paper...proved quite a distraction to other ppl I think...and also, it's a sneeze, not a cough! lol! sorry...
somehow, sneezing non-stop helps me focus, as I was quite off-focus during the Maths paper, as well as the whistling sounds from those J1s having PE...
Container classroom was cold ttm, and I'm sitting at the far side of the room, furthest from the air-con, even my teeth were chattering!
Mr Wong noticed that and helped to increase the temperature, so I gave him a gesture to thank him! Thanks a lot! Could grip my pen better and write properly hahas!

Played b-ball with guys after exam, and watched "How to Train Your Dragon" in 3-D, nice story, although the 3-D effects are a little hard to see, seems just like in 2-D...also a bit short, 90++ mins..
also didn't finish the drink bought along with the popcorn...everyone was so engrossed in the movie that we forgot about it totally lol
..
..
..
Sleeeepy already...gonna repack my subject notes tmr...zzz...sleeping after the convo with Charlene and the rest, also needa buy stuff for Sat's AV Camp...honestly, this year's juniors are quite jialat, as quoted by Mr Ng...
Can't help but also agree, why? will find that out on Saturday...somehow, scolding is already partly on my mind, but I just dunno how to put the message across in other forms, apart from being firm, but seriously hope they won't stretch me to my limit, gonna be bad if that happens...and I don't feel like showing that, especially to juniors...please prove me wrong on this! Wonder what performance they have come up this time...

right! dun think too much about this, it's their job to show us, so surprise us properly please. Saturday...

Different days I see have varying impressions at different times already, and I'm starting to notice them that they are just like last year. It's been about 4-5 months and it's still the same? Why???

Imminent!

2010-03-20T22:49:00.003+08:00

Common Tests are approaching in two days time!.....did a bit of this and a bit of that...but i doubt that's gonna work...one week is not enough, imagine preparing for As....the extreme horror!

this week has been nothing but revising, playing (terribly guilty of this) and eating (Seoul Garden with S02 guys on Monday, and many more on my part...)...
can say that I have to watch what I eat, all the CNY goodies are there left to take hahahas!
but, if u're gonna just leave it there, won't that be leaving it to spoil?
well, eat them and they're gone, for good...and I won't touch them again, that is I won't start hunting for more again hahas.....
just have to watch and control my weight, even though I'm always told I'm thin enough...

Science Centre Workshop was long and perhaps a little boring...discovered that I'm Alu +/+....means I'm a true blue Asian...haha....(being random here; of course not, there're other countries with a higher %)

been to school seeking short consultations for Bio, CSE and Maths....Chem, that's our own part, since she's not in school....

spent too much time playinggggg.....just simply addictive...well, can say that I've cut down on MW2, but Silent Hill, inFamous and all that...well, guilty of playing that a few hours ago.....

seeking a focused and disciplined mind is tough, I've set goals to control myself and yet I failed to follow them....which includes studying, playing, eating, etc etc etc....
shouldn't be too over-ambitious and set realistic and achievable ones...and it will take place after the CTs...

So first on the list:
1. Clear and arrange my notes on all my subjects on the 26th (Top priority)

others....still contemplating though....

I really should stop thinking so much already and focus...even though I managed to hold them back...some would still leak out and flood my train of thought that's on my studies...I'm sure you're facing about the same, although worse, from what I see recently...the struggles and reminders to get a hold of and control yourself...it's tough, obviously, let's face it.
I cannot do much except to shout "Don't give up" or something similar in my own mind, or even have this written on my face, even though it is hard to see that...but everyone has come too far to stop, admist the distractions and obstacles we face battling our mind that's filled with imagination and unnecessary thoughts.

I still feel guilty over what I've done, questioning myself that Why did it have to be you, of all people? creating an unforgettable scar in your life (what I see in my actions), and making you confused, as well as thinking so much about this...that's selfish and wrong of me to do that...
too caught up and lost in my own actions as I was that time...and come to think of it, how stupid I behaved..utterly immature....

Now, I'm not afraid or embarrassed like before, but still having the uncontrolled thought of postulating after my actions...

okay, that's enough..let's not talk about it already. Right now, we all have a huge obstacle to face.
Let's put in our best and see what happens after CTs. You have the strong willpower to do it.
Don't worry too much about other things, for they can wait after this. That's all I can say from here, the rest is all up to you, in your own hands. You can.

Back to CSE already~~~

2010-03-12T22:42:00.002+08:00

finally this week is overr!....glad GP's over too!....paper was ok...esp Paper 2...felt more comfortable when reading the passage this time.....

played the whole day when reached home!....hopefully de-stress is successful...have to pia tmr already....woooo!....

CSE lesson after test.....zzz....copied till tired....

ok, need to regain the sleep lost from the past few days....

oh yeah, and happy 18th birthday Christine! hope u like the cookie cake the guys gave you lol....

nites!

2010-03-07T23:29:00.003+08:00

School's starting already and time is really needed here!....

Did Chem and CSE yesterday, finished up most of them, did Maths today, planned to do Bio and GP, but I guess Maths really took a lot of time, plus game time...new games bought by bro, so tried it out....
really have to make the choice of going into the utility room to study, since the other com and PS have booming and distracting noise that really affect my attention span :(
what's the study room for when you can do your work, and on the other hand, there's someone playing....got no power to say here....looks like I can't do my work in front of the com....still pondering over this dilemma here....

GP test is approaching fast and I haven't really 'imbibed' yet....been doing all the past work that was supposed to hand in last week....
New plan: Finish Bio tutorials and Chem Rxn Kinetics TYS by tmr, provided that I don't have so much work....got CCA CIP to settle again before Mr R. leaves on Thursday....

also running tmr with hong and jas....that KFC on friday was fattening ttm, even though i ate the least! lol
need timee managementt hereee......rawr.....too many roles in JC already.....hopefully it won't be too overwhelming after the common test....

on a side note: stupid haze has been irritating my nose, sneezing on occasions....pray the sinus that was gone since the beginning of this year, won't suffer a relapse again in the morning....
another side note: what to get by this friday...hmm....
yet another side note: read the online GCE A Level timetable, apparently Chem Paper 3 starts first on 9th Nov, and the worst part, ends on 2nd Dec with Bio Paper 1!!!!!! seems long but thank goodness for good breaks between exams, although some are on the same day....check out if you are free....

http://www.seab.gov.sg/SEAB/aLevel/2010GCEATimetable.pdf

again another side note: been blog-hopping and fb-hopping too much! gotta stop that already....
...
...
...

ok, too many side notes and incoming thoughts will shorten my sleeping time...gtg.....and jiayous S02!

2010-03-05T17:20:00.002+08:00

Got back Chinese results, grade's the first letter of the language!...ok...didn't really die until that badly, thought I would pass really badly at first...can't really say much cause I still got the same grade as O levels...not retaking again!

was a waste during Sec 4 when I got the same C5 despite retaking it the second time...well not this time....5 more to go...1 (PW) approaching next month! the rest are next year....

more 'AAAA's this time!...grats to them! feels honoured to stand when ppl are clapping for you...

problem is they didn't show GP, killer paper..but nvm, it's our turn and it's really pressuring...

after that, went to Lot 1 to eat with Hong and Jas...made a promise to jog on Monday hahas...and English is encouraged between the 3 of us, since Chinese is gone...feels a little awkward since I usually converse in Chinese to Hong, but u get the point lol...u noe what I mean...

got lots of work waiting...but take a short break tonight...have to pia during the weekend...

get more sleep tonight as well....it's always 8 hours or less since the start of the year....

Zzz...

2010-02-26T22:40:00.002+08:00

Just saw the class blog....full of homework!!!....somemore visiting this weekend, siannnn....

well, gotta tackle some tonight, esp the delayed Carboxylic Acid TYS......always wanted to do before 7:35 in the morning, but.....seems that my bladder is forbidding that........lol

PE of 300 reps today, a little tired after that, and the wrist is hurting again, thigh seems to be ok despite snaps, hopefully that won't cause any problems to running....

talked with Hong and Jas outside sanctuary, about PW and other stuff...nice to reminisce about the past, how we struggled with PW, OP experiences, how we sounddd like in our OP (esp Jas)

spun like nuts on the chair and vomitted in the end during cse, im ok already, sorry to make u guys feel guilty Hong and HJ, im all right after that, survived PE together somemore!

stupid motion sickness, seems to be all right on the aeroplane, well, not exactly for bus rides (the one back in Melbourne: Horror bouncing in my head... X_X)

work is awaiting to be written...gotta end this post soon....

got a gazillion questions to ask you....but they're still left dwelling in my head, lingering....perhaps forever?...seems so hard to raise it up...

Pause for a sec...

2010-02-22T23:24:00.002+08:00

had a great weekend of visits!

Mahjong in the afternoon with Ee, Jas and manda, and after that blackjack with liang!
loads of fun and lols, also cause i won some moolah hahas...!

went to visit qm's house too, played Blackjack again, although the lucky streak wasn't there lol, oh well, still got some laughs...

went back home for yet another round of cards again at family gathering till 12am ++...this time the winning streak was back! hua-suan if u ask me, best stroke of luck over the past few years...

sunday was plain work.....damn kinetics, understood much better now today, but still dread the finding out of the gradient...gotta go back to work already so I'll end this off with........

according to the situations I face for the past few weeks, it seems that he wants me to take action and the initiative to help and lead other people....problem is, will I be able to carry that out properly? doubts arise everytime and I find them as lousy excuses to escape smth that everyone hates: failing in the process and embarrassment

have yet to refine myself if i want to help others, but i just feel obliged to do that....help oneself then to help others, or else helping will not be of use to both parties....true to the fact but time never slows down and all i can do is to see, with thoughts swishing and wandering....feels helpless to help, ironic....
so the only to help is to not help? dilemma here.....

ok, enough of thinking so much, and back to work already...ciaos

2010-02-19T23:29:00.002+08:00

Thought today was gonna be a bad day since I only slept at 2, doing hw! Instead, it was both work and fun, double the enjoyment and happiness!

Road Run was ok, helping out at AV, recording results and looking after ppl's bags...good to get busy sometimes...congrats to Hazel, Lr and QM for getting among the top 20 positions in their category!

Lessons went smoothly, and went to Yi Siew's house for CNY gathering with class, awesome ttm man! Meal's good, had games and karaoke songs till bout 10...
not much voice already, too much high-pitched straining...rough now lol...

ok, gtg soon, gonna be a day of visiting from classmates and family!

the clock is ticking...

2010-02-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

It's Tuesday already and the following day's a school day!!...wth...

Just came back from relatives' house, played cards till so late, and there were mahjong tiles being 洗牌-ed lol...

Luckily, gonna have a last visit tmr at around the late afternoon, so there's time to tackle my homework...feeling really sian, still possessing the holiday mood, bet most are too...

Can't believe that when Wednesday commences, CCA, homework deadlines and tests are gonna fly in at one go!...with the juniors coming in, gotta send reminders to be at AV room...also got some Total Defence Day duty as well, good thing there's only Bio Tutorial...okok la...too many roles in school already...

thinking of so many things the moment today passes...lack of sleep as usual....

I hope everyone's enjoying and using this damn short holiday!...gonna be back in the saddle again...help awaits unless requested....

zzz...gotta sleep, needa wake up early tmr...
shucks, just realised I recorded part of the Orientation night in my mobile...maybe I'll publish it later this morning lol, too lazy to wait for the upload to finish..

Happy CNY & Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T01:19:00.003+08:00

Tiger year at last....time flies too fast already...

did nothing much except play and went out for family dinner at science centre sakura...also saw QM as well! so qiao lol...also saw See Ting there as well, dunno where he was sitting though lol..

had stomach pains for the past two days already...applied oil and now much better....goodness, it hurts like hell trying to endure it...glad it's over for now...

ok...it's really late staying up like last night, got visiting and homework to do....sianz...
also got to sleep to avoid the incense fumes while my dad does the praying, cause the smoke can really irritate my nose and eyes lol....

Happy CNY and Valentine's Day!

CNY!

2010-02-12T23:37:00.002+08:00

week's over...chem test done...oh yeah!

Duty at Orientation was fulfilling ttm, seeing J1s enjoying themselves and also looking at Gabes' moves during the dancing hahas...
somehow this year's orientation had more variety than last year's, lucky J1s..the watermelon eating contest is new lol...performances good...and seeing them dance in the whole hall was really going down memory lane
ended at about 10+ pm, so it was 6 whole hours done...yep...tiring...esp for the legs...

even did chem TYS on Gp II before sleeping at 1-2am....goood thing today's assembly was an hour later....or else it's gonna be feeling zombie-like again...

Class notice board won the consolation prize! Simple design too, kudos to the guys who did the painting!
Performance rocks as well...esp the teachers dancing, and the catwalk of the kids and their parents (teachers), cute pics of them, as well as their actions on stage...
performance was shorter than expected, time seems to pass slower at the control room...
also bought and released balloons with wordings of wishes with the class at the parade square, one memorable event to note!

LAN with guys opp Ten Mile...played till tired...and stomach was feeling unwell till now...urgh...

I'm sure everyone's gonna be busy with homework and visiting...serious clash here lor...and also can catch up with some sleep to say the least!
wonder when the juniors will come in, 13 of them is a lot for a small CCA...can't wait!, and also, have to change the style we lead this time...

have this feeling..it seems to have changed already...feels different...confused, puzzled, perplexed...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
well, left this post aside for an hour or more...ok can

Not gonna let this spoil CNY! Woooooooo.......family time....and rest from school...still can't run damn it....lol

Just great......

2010-02-08T20:21:00.002+08:00

Back from doctor's and got an excuse from PE for 2 whole weeks!!!...damn it man....

All due to a tendon inflammation at the left thigh....sian...can still walk, but cannot risk running...
Cause was the 9 hour night cycling and that area of muscle didn't rest rather well, and it starts to show up about 1 month later..diao....

Can't do lower body exercises for such a long time...so I can't attend the Road Run already...sian...what to do....
Best thing is to let the thigh rest even though walking is essential to travelling around...hopefully it will be all right by Friday, or else it's X-ray, as the doc mentioned....

Oh well...can be a good break from exercising too much, as my dad put it everytime....can't help it....

Ok, back to work already...needa sleep early, got morning duty at the hall again tmr!

looking back...and forward...

2010-02-06T00:10:00.004+08:00

another week passed...finally!

it seems that being at home every night on a weekday passes so slowly....and yet weekends pass too damn fast....

Everyone had a hard week, especially the OGLs...seeing my class' OGLs so busy everytime, 真的佩服他们...tests, tutorials and lectures to catch up...wow...simply awed by and admire + respect their spirit admist the tiredness of the normal school life of homework

No excuse for me, cause I'm nowhere as busy as them, even though have to help out with AV...you only have moments of rushing and setting up, and hopefully not screwing up when things don't go right...

well, that's the hard life of JC, no doubt abt that...

AND...there's still the addiction for GAMING!...managed to suppress on Thursday afternoon for once, doing homework but eyelids were heavy to keep them open...

everyday is a challenge, focusing on homework and lectures, and not letting the mind wander...it's pure mind-draining...

one thing that helped: my sinus is almost gone when waking up in the morning...the key thing that spoiled my concentration last year...

GP lessons were all about happiness and a good life...well, we're not exactly happy with the current stress, but with the ppl around you, that sparks the happiness inside, even though i tend to show a blank face everytime....blechhh...

Not a good life now, but these 'obstacles' are stepping stones to our goal...

PE was handball and today, planning for the FITT group work thing...2.4km run is my next target to overcome...long way to go to train, but better late than never...NAPFA is during May!!!.......................................

next week is another busy week, gotta report to school early and help for Orientation, always there to give a helping hand, that's service CCAs for you lol...gotta admit it's a nice job to have! Can see the new J1s packed in the hall before the rest except for the OGLs and SCs...reminds me of the past year Orientation hahas...ahh..the memories.....sitting there mind blurred...

also have to call the potential members to confirm their presence on the 17th at 2:30pm (Some didn't !pick up!, but most likely busy with dunno what...sheesh...), and NTU...the CIP plan is starting to dragggg...no e-mail for their AV services, damn it...

ok...got lots of work to tackle in the afternoon! get some real and well-deserved sleep!

CNY approaching...woo! 5 days of rest and eating lols...

time to hit the sack before stomach growls for food....zzz...hope everyone's holding up fine apart from the hectic school life...how about you??

zzz ttm...

2010-01-30T00:44:00.002+08:00

Tiring week....more homework....less sleep...

Since the J1s came in, things were getting busier for my CCA, well, can treat this as a form of practice before getting new members and training...rather bad if I can't even rmb the equipment needed for outdoor/indoor...so it's a good experience!

Also celebrated Jasper's and Hui Jie's Birthday! Happy 18th Birthday guys!
As well as, Happy B'Day to Charlene (last week) and Yu Han (yesterday) too!

Hopefully, can do well for the Bio Lecture Test...the Periodicity Assignment today...was rather bad for the last part...did wrongly...
well, like Grace said for the Practical, what to do get scolded lor! lol, ok maybe not too lol...

Parent Teacher Conference today too, till 9 plus at night! The ambassadors and some SCs spotted Mac with me, and well, got their attention, since they have not eaten yet...oops...

Also got reminded not to eat at Control Room! Bad example as VP...will take that in mind next time...
The only tiring part was the shifting of the Visualiser witht the metallic table back from the LT3 Control room, down to near the stage...
any problem, have to see on Monday during Maths Lecture....whoops...

Forever worried about GP and CSE...essays are our greatest enemies...wish to thwart this negative thinking...well, have to action more by putting in more effort once again...

Ok....now's the time to enjoy sleeping! Needa energy for the increasing pile of homework...

The past is starting to haunt me, and the mind has to think about it unknowingly despite efforts to control the ever-wandering organ and get focused...it's inevitable, but still have to face it...pointless to run away

2010-01-25T22:21:00.003+08:00

Gonna type this fast before going back to revision and cutting newspaper articles for China Desk that I have not done so when I got the msg hours ago!

Rawr....been keeping the stack since October last year till NOW....goodness man....definitely not bringing that forsaken stack, just gonna take out the pages, grab some tape, and probably bring to school tmr to do instead....dun forget some blank A4 paper...

Thank goodness for an hour break after Chem...planning to get busy already...also haven't touched the Bio Tutorial on Chromosomal Mutation and Continuous/Discontinuous Variation...so much work, so little timeee...

What's hardest won, most easily lost? Time!

ok, enuff typing already....got things to rush and revise...

AND....get ready for a little surprise HJ and Jas ...hahahahahaha!....the latter should be XD

we'll seeee tmr.....LOL..

Gotta have an early night....

2nd week oovveerr...

2010-01-22T23:47:00.004+08:00

finally the 2nd week is over!...seemed long for everyone, and another good weekend to treasure once again!

had lots of CCA stuff to attend to...2 CCAs are indeed tiring, and since in J2, more time needs to be allocated to homework and revision...well, it was quite a choice to make last year, and hopefully, I can juggle between CCA and work efficiently...

had a GP Diagnostic test on Thursday, and a Chem quiz on R&C today...essay-content subjects have been on my top priority list for improvement, as there's a severe lack of content for GP and CSE, and I'm starting to feel the pressure if both subjects do not improve soon...too late to regret now...not reading while younger, lazy to pick up and read word for word...

The diagnostic test was er....full of crap, even though it was long...gonna get highlighted for my chicken-claw style of writing by Mr Siraj for sure!...quite a way to get his attention lol, if u know what I mean...if things get dire, it's time to consult when free...

the pressure from wanting to score well so badly has made my mind run wild at times...always comparing with my bro's, who got A for his GP in A levels...really commendable, and he's my good example...he reads newspapers since Pri 3, and now, I'm still struggling and pushing myself to read a newspaper...8 years of content can make a lot of difference...wow...mum always reminds non-stop to read his essays and read more...and these endless reminders are somehow a little annoying but true to the core...can't complain...

other than this current problem of essays, it's tutorials for the 3 H2s...sigh...many more months to go...

putting aside homework, school is all right to say the least! also enjoyed time with the class too, even though that's not really shown (ok, maybe the laughs are something more obvious)

also didn't manage to donate blood...too bad once again...this time it's not on my part unlike last year (Sore throat, so was forbidden to donate), it's the medical history of the family, and I need proof that I'm not a carrier of Hep B...guess the jab at birth didn't count...same case for my bro when he attempted to donate...well, there's always next year! hahas! nevertheless, good job Amanda!

now, seriously tired from the draining lifestyle of studying...sleeping soon and enjoying the comfort of the bed...

thinking and thinking...the speech made by the principal has set the mind wondering again...oh man.........

Face it, deal with it; what I remembered from her speech: she's right, I'll keep that in mind and do my best...whatever lies ahead, brace the unexpected and do something good out of it within one's ability...things may turn out better, and also, one would know that the effort and strive put in was really worth it...that I'm certain. It takes time, but it will show how strong-willed a person can be.

next week is another long one, filled with more challenges to see and overcome...bring 'em on!

Hope my mental strength won't be too worn out by the stress, last year was horrid; easily affected by noise. Now, it's much better, but the fuel for such a hard thing to attain more control is...SLEEP -_-zzz

gotta try to sleep b4 11pm on sundays and weekdays lol

nights!

worried; perhaps a little disinclined...hmm

2010-01-17T20:31:00.006+08:00

2nd week about to begin...still doing homework...need to buck up my subjects
esp. for maths! weakest among the 3 H2, dun count in CSE or GP...they are both bad too...

can't help but worry, so have to improve...repetitions but still have to drill them into my head...blech....

nothing much to think of and type, so I'll probably end it off soon, before continuing on my work and sleep for the night...

argh, the joint at the thigh bone is beginning to sound...bad...cracking/snapping sounds when i swing my whole left leg everytime...right thigh joint is following up soon...with lesser of those disturbing sounds...
doesn't seem to hurt while running or walking...most probably the 9 hour night cycling last year in December during AV Chalet...pushed those muscles too hard i guess...hence the sounds and the pain at my left side...
shit, really hope this won't worsen and affect the NAPFA test and even during NS...or else, all the hard work and effort for the past 2 and a half years will go down the drain...well, we'll see during the medical check-up...now, cross fingers and hope for the best...and also, rest up for the next few months and less stress on it, cause I'm practically standing and using the same muscles...

oh! also cannot get sick this week! want to donate blood, unlike last year when I couldn't, because of sore throat...sian ji puah lol...

1st Week

2010-01-15T22:45:00.002+08:00

1st week of school has passed...and everyone's tired already....whew....

got a new GP tutor, who has somehow made us realise how scary this subject can be, and at the same time, how we can enjoy learning its broad-based contents...never too late to realise now, we all got 10 months to prepare for As...though can't help but get worried...

Upcoming tests, tutorials, assignments, new lecture notes, more CCA stuff to settle...the list is not exhaustive, but u get the point on how life for J2s are...

glad to see the class again! been months since we saw each other, and hopefully everyone's got a good break...surely these two weekends will be well used to relax before the start of another hectic one again...

lessons filled with laughter too! esp CSE hahas

had a small meal with Jas today at Bistro Delifrance after pool...hardly tried it, dunno how many years already...not bad for a student meal! lol...

zzz...sleeping soon already, gotta catch up with the daunting Chem TYS given today...

I really hope what my current actions are, will not be misunderstood/misinterpreted

School commences...tmr

2010-01-10T22:48:00.002+08:00

About to sleep already...stuff packed too...thinking about the start of the school term, and the start of a long and tedious year...

Feeling a little uptight since today...dunno what it is but, it's smth to do with school...hmm...

responsibility starts to really kick in for CCA...not saying it didn't last year, but more tasks are given this year.......
...
...
...
...
whew...school hasn't started last week and I'm feeling a little stressed alr...

well, it's back to tutorials, practicals and lectures!...can't say it's different than last year though, just that the end has a huge obstacle...

hopefully, I can stick to what I've set for myself, gotta stay focused!...arghhh...

ok, time to sleep alr! seeing whole class tmr for the new year!...nites and sleep early!

School term beginning...sian..

2010-01-08T21:56:00.003+08:00

Back from Sentosa outing with Amanda, Cindy, Ee Hong, Gabes and Gina!
Fun ttm! the water activity was fun! Also talked until it rained then we left, ate at Vivo then home...
Also bought FBT shorts for Gina, including that and disposable underwear for Gabes! lol!

Was quite late for it, due to buying the stuff and ran out of moneyyy....guys had to take the monorail back to Vivo to pass cash to me...
and also AV stuff back at school...shan't say much about this as well as for the day before...nothing to say...all the logistics is tiring even though the word means coordinating of details of an operation...more of the physical this time...

seriously, a bloody lousy start to a new year and new school term, already quite pek cek about stuff, who knows with the addition of homework, it would all come down real hard...
Mr R said I have to scold sooner or later, which I really dislike or in stronger terms, hate. Thought there isn't a need to scold but seems that things are getting rather too far sometimes as time passes...more responsibility starts to kick in for this year....teaching the future juniors, maintaining their skills and discipline...the lot...
I too did several wrong things...and I would need to forgive and not totally hold the rest responsible...we all did...
having several thoughts of even implementing strict rules if things get really too drastic...but that isn't fair...principles should be set instead, with the full cooperation of others that is..
we all have a job to do, and we have to be serious in it...problem is that if I'm not taken seriously, that's when the pissed-off mark comes in...

forget it, that's over, dun think about it already, just focus on how to improve the situation, that's smth I have to keep telling myself...even though the mind unknowingly slips into the replay and recall mode sometimes...

gonna be both a mentally and physically demanding year ahead...gotta perk up! Jiayous..
also....keep having weird dreams about random places with ppl I know...wonder what they all mean...still, good to be occupied even while sleeping! lol

HNY!

2010-01-01T23:53:00.001+08:00

Back from trip to Malaysia!...Car journeys to and fro to destinations were simply boring, long hours here and there..

Went to Sitiawan, then to Cameron Highlands, back to former, then to Malacca...

Whole trip was to take a mind off the busy life we all had back here at home...cause the life there is REAL slow...

Also did the maths holi assignment, finished it there, woo! but, thing is that there are a number of questions left either blank or half-baked...well, more practice needed...

Left Bio and CCA stuff to settle b4 the school term finally starts...time is really gonna pass real fast this year...

New Year, New Resolutions, New Thoughts, New Decisions, New Choices...spent the car journeys thinking....for a long time...yeah...

Hope this year is not too much of a difficult ride, excluding preparations for As...

Pics of trip in fb...Happy New Year!

2010!

2009-12-24T23:50:00.002+08:00

Almost time to sleep alr, gotta rest for tmr's malaysia trip from Christmas till New Year!
Seeing my aunt who got stomach cancer a few months back, hope she's well and recovering fast...

time passes too fast alr, one moment OP, now near New Year's already...
still got some maths and bio work undone...gotta admit that I played a lottt...lol

this holiday also gave me some time to reflect upon myself, and how i can do better...
lots of thoughts and considering here and there, so I hope my choices are right this time...
any unforeseen things and circumstances, bring 'em on and I'll see how to adapt to them then...

2010 is coming...so wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Enjoy while you can until slogging for As....lols...

Steamboat

2009-12-20T00:28:00.002+08:00

had steamboat at Zhen Fa Huo Hai Xian with Gabes, Grace, Gina, Cindy and Li Liang!

Despite so little ppl attending, the time spent was awesome!

Ate a lot of food, esp prawns....uhhh, gonna get sick of it....

Also, got a bloody incident with a stupid live prawn; it jumped when I placed in the soup, and it splashed some at one old aunty behind...and here come the hail...yeah...sheesh...

got scolded for nothing really, but should've just grabbed the prawn instead of holding its feelers, did that and shoved it into the soup...yep...

actually wanted to argue but what the hell man...don't wanna spoil the occasion...as well as not make a scene over a bloody prawn! somemore she even said never splash her then ok...wtf...then what about me huh

forget it, at least the man said never mind...they left soon after

minor incident over...back ta eating more lol...marshmallows were great, thanks li liang for the candy stick!

after that, went back home with liang and gabes; grace, cindy and gina took the EW line back

Talked to them along the way, and now home!

Pics on Fb, some epic! gotta sleep alr, more work to be done here...

AV Chalet

2009-12-20T00:13:00.003+08:00

Had AV Chalet from the 14th to 16th!

Had BBQ on the first night, ate loads and drank some alcohol (John brought some and we bought beer at Fairprice) the hotdogs were so salty and didn't eat so much of it, too bloated XP

Played a board game Sequence on the next morning, long but also fun to play! Played with Jie Ying, Jie Han, Wen Long and Zi Kang

Had irregular sleeping hours for these two nights...was half-dead in the afternoon on the 2nd day, pool performance was rock bottom, only hit in 1 ball out of a few matches!

Still, the night cycling was epic! Started off at 10pm, cycled to Changi Village for dinner at 11pm, went thru ECP and passed by Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal...

Reached ECP and rested at the beach at about 2am plus till 3:30am

then set off back to Downtown East...we got lost! cycled thru the Changi Business Park and even reached Expo MRT station! Also lost balance at one point and made Charlene laugh like crazy hahas!

that was the part where we turned around down the slope, was toiling uphill before that lol...

cycled to Tampines, Simei and finally back to Chalet at 7am, where everyone slept immediately!

truly shagged, everyone, no or little sleep...9 hours of toil and sweat lol

Still, this night cycling was the first and longest ever! Gonna do that again?? course not lol...will consider

Pics on Fb! Thanks for the Chalet everyone! :)

...zZz...

2009-12-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

Going to sleep already...got stomach flu since yesterday!...stomach was feeling terrible with sudden bursts of pain everytime...

Went to watch Twilight: New Moon with Edwin and HQ...the storyline seems rather draggy to me, and the ending is way abrupt, sequel will obviously come out from the last sentence Edward Cullen said...dun want to spoil the movie for those who haven't watched yet lol

The storyline seems short if u sum it up, and it was lengthened by long moments of the characters looking at each other; well, personally, an ok movie for me, probably bcoz i didn't watch the first movie, and for those who want to look at hot guys, this movie's for ya hahas...

Had Movie Marathon at school!....watched Letters from Iwo Jima, and a Korean Movie called Scandal Makers...damn tired after the latter and it was 4:30am by then...

Played Bridge, and Asshole-Dai Di with the peeps who went for the ACID camp rehearsal!
Gonna post some pics taken while they were playing; there was a funny ending for one Bridge game between Amanda, Ee Hong, HJ and Gabes! Turned out that it was one against three (Amanda against the rest), with 12 to 2 sets lols!

Returned home at 8:30, then that's when the diarrhoea came...terribly...slept after that till 11am, woke up to release, slept again till 2pm, release, ate a bit, slept at 3:30, woke up at 7pm plus for dinner...tiring day for me...and gotta get well b4 AV Chalet on Monday!

Ok, time ta sleep already! Cyas...

Metro SIF

2009-12-09T22:22:00.002+08:00

Did Metro-SIF duty at Compass Point at Sengkang on the 1st of Dec...10 hours straight of asking ppl to donate! tired after that, felt like sleeping when I reached home...

Don't really like this job personally...don't know why, this kind of job is not appealing to me, I really look up to those ppl who have to put up with asking others to donate or receive flyers, have to be thick-skinned here...thumbs up for them!
Did both outside and inside Metro...outside had obviously more 'business' than inside, also felt weird to ask ppl who are shopping to donate while inside Metro...oh well, we all pulled through!

Went home with Wei Shun, Serene and Zi Le on MRT...talked and laughed hahas...

Now, I'm here, day-by-day playing and doing work...already getting a bit tired of com games already...also haveta train up for next year's NAPFA...dun want an additional month...let's aim for that this December! Can't wait for this Friday's Movie Marathon and next Monday's AV Chalet!...

Day 2 to enD!

2009-12-09T21:30:00.002+08:00

Ok, gonna cut short the whole trip thing...too long to type and lazy hehes...well, that and actually, no time to recall all of them, so I'll just sum up everything...photos of Fb!

Went to Codrington Wind Farm to look at the wind turbines and understand more about it....after that, travelled back to Port Campbell to look at the beach and for lunch: Beef Burger and Chips!
Got some souvenirs, travelled 3 hours to Melbourne where we checked into our new hostel, Habitat HQ
Put down stuff, then walked to a park to have a BBQ dinner! The streets were a little empty, although we did notice lots of graffiti all around...and the place is a little..deserted and dark...
Nightlife along the road is rather quiet and all...not safe to be alone if u ask me, since we're in a foreign country...still, the cool night wind is deeply missed in Aussie, you won't get to experience that in S'pore!

Day 3:
Went to an office to listen to another company Pacific Hydro, which does huge projects in some countries around the world building facilities like dams for example, hence its name...renewable energy to be exact...
went to a shopping centre to buy souvenirs and lunch...had Chicken Brushetta and Chips! Lots of chips eaten for the past few days alr, getting sick of it XP...
the Chinese food there is ex ttm! one char siew rice costs AUD8.90!!! ridiculously high-priced if u compare the price back here hahas, evidently, the standard of living in Aussie is higher...can also imagine Europe being about similar level...
After that, went to a Solar Power Company, where we learned about how solar power is converted to electricity, as well as having an inverter to share power with ur neighbours. We also learned about the positioning of the roofs to achieve maximum solar energy absorption, and how the efficiency of solar panels are, and will be improved in the years to come...also found an Anti-Mosquito Guard contraption, hand-carry too like a keychain! didn't buy it though...
went back to hostel, got de-briefed and took a short rest b4 going back to Coles Market to get eggs for the following day's breakfast and groceries...then pizzas for dinner at a restaurant!
Walked past the beach for a great night view and the wind...they even have alcohol restrictions at the beach as well...wow...

Day4:
Spent the next two days mostly at Melbourne University...lots of pics taken and u guessed it..lectures! PhD , Physics, Renewable Energy....even saw a Particle Accelerator at the Physics Lab! hardly see one everyday!
had lunch at the uni for the first time ever...not too bad a place to be, different from S'porean schools hahas, like your American school cafeteria that is large and expands to many shops, spoiled for choice here...the serving was literally like a mini-mountain...had Yang Zhou Fried Rice there that costs AUD6.50...worth it as a matter of fact due to the huge portion given!
left the uni to Queen's Street where we were given the independence to get our own dinner...burger again for me at $17.60, accompanied with a drink, chips and sauce
went back to hostel, where jas and I had to type out the blog post for the whole trip, regarding today's events...slept rather late at 12 plus

Day 5:
Went back to Mel Uni, but to a different campus located further away...we had a lecture on green roofs and green walls, and we took a look at an example located at their office rooftop...
travelled to the larger campus where we went the day b4, more talks on Uni Courses here, and also had a lunch gathering with the S'porean students there! got to know a few people there, like Phyllis, Ray just to name a few...
Gone to Philip Island to see the Penguins there, learned about their behaviour, habitat and we also saw them moving back to their burrows from the sea...spectacular and unforgettable experience, those Little Penguins are cute! Relentless 12-inch creatures, they will always attempt to get back to their burrows whenever they are scared off by the seagulls, going back to sea and then returning...
Got more souvenirs and the wind was damn cold! Mr Wong even hid behind us as shields from the wind, and for me, my hands were cold too...
returned to melbourne at 11 plus, and slept at 2!

Last day:
Woke up late!!!...was late for breakfast so we had to rush down...too tired...
brought our luggage down and we went to the Market to buy stuff..bought nougats, items, chocolates...u name it...
made a quick lunch at a diner, burger again...
Went to the Melbourne Museum...huge place, got lots of exhibitions to see...Dinosaurs, Aboriginis, Human Body and Mind, Rainforests and Insect World...
Lastly, departed to Melbourne Airport and bid farewell to our coach driver Don...shopped for more stuff after checking in
The plane ride was okay, fell asleep during take off and watched 3 movies in a row...after that, the plane was filled with a baby's crying...Kwok Fong said he can join a singing contest alr lol, crying non-stop, got some powderful lungs and a throat lol...and bcoz of that, couldn't sleep lol...
Landed back at S'pore, bid farewell to the teachers and friends and back home! reached at 12plus, near 1am...

Yep, that's about all for the trip, summed up!
Photos on Fb once again! still uploading! back to a sea of homework tmr...haiz...

Melbourne Day 1

2009-12-05T20:32:00.007+08:00

Ok, finally have time to post on the Melbourne Trip...pardon the delay here...trying to recall the details here hehe

First Night/2nd Day:

Everyone met at Changi Airport Terminal 1, Row 1; checked in through the departure area, bid parents goodbye and off we went at around 11:25 SG time
Emirates was ok, seats still acceptable, although it was a bit uncomfortable, got big sized ppl sitting beside me so lol....

Reached Melbourne in the early morning at around 8:45am Aussie time...went up to coach, where we got to learn the driver's name, Don. Nice guy to begin with!...Jas couldn't really understand his accent, as he's got some heavy Brit accent with some Australian...and Jas even said I sound like him....cannot interpret what I say sometimes -.-...

Arrived at a small town, where we got some groceries for the trip....and gotta tell ya...the stuff there is way ex! One bottle of water (2 to 5 litres) can cost about AUD5 ++, around SGD6 or more! So were the provisions like biscuits etc

Pics taken b4 I got motion sickness... X_X

This is where the coach ride turned into a nightmare for me...the turning was horrendous and my motion sickness came back really badly! Almost puked but managed to 'hold out' in the end, thx Jas!

Lunch was another thing: Seafood Pasta! Sounds nice, but after the nightmare ride, really no appetite to eat alr, and the contents of it were: Cheese, more cheese, some seafood like prawns and clam (what I tasted) and some raw veggie with a minty taste...also gulped down some water after every bite (somewhat like ur Amazing Race Challenge with food that you never tasted before from another country)...actually, without the motion sickness, could've finished it cause it tasted weird to me...oh well...what a waste :'(

After that, more travelling!....but to a nice National Park, where a natural structure called the Twelve Apostles is at...near the coast...according to the guide, there are 8 left, 3 vanished with 1 recently eroded if I recall correctly...

The wind was really chilly since we were at the coast...made my face dry like anything sia....imagine smth stinging ur skin, that’s how the wind’s like...

Also saw a weird field opening with a near-regular shaped area, almost like a circle..crop circle? Even Mr Wong was puzzled hahas....

Got to another place where there was another structure called the Razorback...there’s a rather large indentation at the bottom of this rock due to the action of waves, causing erosion..

Then, it was a long ride to the hostel, good thing I slept, without knowing that Jas took some pics while I was catching forty winks...very funny.....

Ms Tan checking our room...

Reached our countryside hostel at around 7 in the evening and it was still quite bright...rooms were rather small...couldn’t even unpack our luggage inside! Had to do it outside instead, where there was a small space to do that...

Went to dinner at a nearby diner: Fish & Chips with a prawn! Now, that;s better hahas!...also took a look at the surroundings there, got a river just beside, so this town is like ur suburb, nice, slow-paced, peaceful, quiet...

Around 8:45pm...
Pic of Jupiter and the moon

Had our debrief at the lounge...also played pool b4 that lol! The balls are smaller than what we actually used!...and the cue ball is smaller than that...well, how we paid our money was rather unique! It’s inserting AUD3 into a special coin slot, where you position it correctly according to the size, then you push the lever in...this triggers the release of the balls inside the pool table, and you can play already! You can probably guess why the cue ball is smaller than the rest!

Slept at around 12:15am, whereas back in Sg, only 9 plus...still awake for the rest eh?? lol...

To be Continued!...3^rd day in progress hahas!!!

Trip to Melbourne

2009-11-22T16:31:00.003+08:00

In a few more hours, going to Changi Airport for the Melbourne trip...
about 7.5 hours, should be reaching at around 8-9am Aussie timing...3 hours ahead at Melbourne...

All set, luggage....everything...only thing that slightly worries me is the take-off of the plane, the forces really affect my mind..gonna follow what my bro said, just lean back on the seat for a while till cruising altitude is reached...

Going with Jasper woo! luckily, also noe some of those going for the trip as well...
Also haveta get souvenirs for some of the class too (or whole class, should be the latter)!, lots of stuff to do there lol...
The extra cash can be used to buy, since we only need to settle 2 meals throughout the trip...just need time lol...

Before going, want to wish those re-taking the GP exam tmr a very Good Luck! You guys will really need it!

Also, wishing An An (24th), An Na (27th), Joan and Qian Mei (28th) an earlier happy birthday!
If possible, can send SMS on that day at Melbourne, provided enough money hahas...Ee Hong on 30th (what he said), so I wish u later lol (if u're reading this, but I doubt that lol)

Ok, gotta go soon alr, cyas on the 28th/29th (Depending on the flight touchdown)! :D

End of School!

2009-11-20T23:55:00.004+08:00

It's the end of school already! This whole draggy week has finally passed and on to the holidays, accompanied with homework though...sian...

GP Workshop was quite boring in some days, but still attended to learn some stuff and to pass time...Received holiday assignments for the long break to complete, the December holis are a good month to do, recap as well as exercise for next year's NAPFA, training for NS already...gotta look ahead lahs...

Today's CIP was okays...talked a lot to HJ about some stuff, especially on the MW2 he got (All right! Finally someone whom I know plays it!)
Handed in the research for the Xi'an trip, hopefully the info works, as it was hard to find the exact info for Theme 2 in CSE...

Melbourne Trip this Sunday already! Time really passes too damn fast...gotta finish packing for it, and prepare my mind for the flight...the force applied to my brain during take-off affects my concentration by a lot...airsickness still there, but at least it was better than last time, where I didn't dare to even go to the toilet and remain seated throughout the flight. That's nuts, and fortunately, with the years passing, my mind seems to be able to withstand the forces better already, now more confident of eating meals onboard (didn't dare to even consume anything in the past when younger, due to fear of vomitting) and moving around instead of sleeping all the ways...all in the mind as my dad said...

That fear of vomitting was rather bad, as one time, I puked on my jeans and it practically stinked, what's more I did that after the plane touched down! That was in Bangkok, and I was also indirectly chased out by the services in a shop, due to the stench. "Bloody hell!" was all I thought...is that how you treat someone who's looking around? How wude...goodness man, but that's all in the past.

Gotta sleep soon already...and this week was okay I guess...well, yes and no...
Still bothered by something, seemed okay on one day, but changed thereafter...don't know what to say. All I can say to myself: Stop thinking so much about it already, it's almost over. Seems that attempts to thwart these thoughts are slowly working, but with painful flashbacks of memories.
Many say I think too much for others and hardly myself in the process, guess that's true. Truth to be told, I don't really care much about my own when the other party is having a hard time too, seems that as long as the other party is happy, then I feel all right too (Not entirely, just controlling it)
Time heals all wounds, but the scar is still there. Seriously wish next year would be better, please......; that's all I want and perhaps beg in the worst case....despise myself for thinking a lot sometimes...it distracts and wastes effort of even trying to forget about it...oh well, what to do...... Feel better after typing this... :(

2009-11-14T23:39:00.002+08:00

Did nothing except play MW2 today...

Got a terrible sinus that led to flu throughout the whole day once I woke up...gosh, extensive sneezing causes the muscles around my lungs to hurt a lot...even when breathing in shortly and deeply...

Hope this won't affect my health too much man...Melbourne trip is only a week away...obviously, vaccination didn't really remove my sinus...nose seemed fine for a week after the jab though, placebo effect?? lols...dunnooo...

ok, gotta sleep already...needa do work tmr...compensate for today's time of play...
also didn't exercise so as to not worsen the flu effects...too bad hahas...

zzzzzz....

2009-11-12T09:37:00.002+08:00

Currently awaiting to go to school to get promo results...damn...hope I can get promoted. No, hope everyone in S02 to get promoted! yeah!

We've been through a lot: PW, Chinese, etc...

Retaining does not look very good, but if so, then it's not much of a choice...

Well, we'll see at 10:45am hahas...

After that, going to watch 2012 with some of the class, Ee Hong for example lol..

Yesterday marked the end of the PW cycle, no more PW until the results next year! Now, we all have to focus on our other subjects alr...

bball-ed with Qm, Lr, Mayvin, Amanda, Belle, Gabes, Jasper and Ee

Zi Hao and Bryan came later, and they haven't played bball before, so it's a good experience when they tried

OGL interview as well, was ok, an informal one...whether or not I get accepted, it's still a win-win situation. If accepted, being an OGL is a very good experience and all....

If not, I can focus on my studies for As...see the two scenarios?

Well, I leave it up to next week's results....

Now, play MW2 for a while, before going off...cyas and 09S02 rocks! :)

Class BBQ

2009-11-09T12:55:00.003+08:00

Woke up about 2 hours ago lol, was spending the night at the swimming pool with Ee Hong, Gabes and Jasper until 3:30am when i went off to sleep...
We were talking about some stuff about life and the universe for about 3 hours since 12:30am...

At around 4, they were chased out probably by a resident; was watching the whole incident, where the security guard let them out....couldn't do anything but observe from the living room...dang it, sorry guys!

The whole BBQ was fun and a success! Too much food ordered but still great!
Played cards and talked about stuff hahas...
Before that, in the afternoon, swam with the guys at 1, played games at my house until it was time to go down and set up
Pics on Fb by the girls...

Dunno what to do today except play...though not sure if I'm going out or not...doing I&R final tmr...

OP over!

2009-11-06T20:20:00.003+08:00

Had OP today!...screwed up the Q&A part sia..

Qn was: What elements of your conservation can you apply to your daily settings?

That was really hard, especially with the stress when standing, thinking at the same time...

The assessor even told me that I didn't understand the qn, which yeah I didn't.
Luckily, they rephrased it that I can finally understand, but I doubt my answer was that good either...

Oh well, at least the presentation was much better...we all did our best! Splendid job group!
Even with the immense stress given, it turned out well too! We had our share of fun and late nights :D
Hope the others did well too! Still got I&R though...but no more As after that until next year!

Now, slack slack slack, until next week when lessons continue again....gotta do maths soon, improvement is really needed here...

Waiting for the guys to play DotA now....zzz, want to sleep already, hurry up!....

tmr, getting food for this sunday's barbeque...meeting the guys at IMM probably, gotta confirm again...

zzz...

OP tmr!

2009-11-05T18:13:00.004+08:00

Had a long week of OP preparations...and it will pay off tmr! Group also rehearsed again and again due to my transition...thank you so much for devoting time for this as well as really sorry for the screw-ups.

A level Chinese on the 2nd...paper 2 was quite challenging...hope everyone did well since it's over already...

Maths and Chem lectures as well...lucky they passed quickly...

Other than that, OP OP OP OP OP....

gotta stay calm, focused for this mega event lol...

sure hope it would be 万事俱备，只欠东风...but life's unpredictable...still, let's make that happen lol...tmr awaits!

Good luck to everyone for the subsequent and tmr's OP exams! :)

funny convo with the guys and Mr Ching...

Sometimes, or should I say most of the time, one's actions can mean another totally different thing to another person, probably reverse psychology in some cases to the latter. Not gonna describe further here, but seriously, sighs...

As

2009-11-01T21:58:00.003+08:00

Feel kinda happy and light-hearted today...don't know why...
perhaps something that I thought of has allowed me to focus better...

A level Chinese tmr....大家加油! 要再接再厉，集中精神...cannot do that too much, lest a mind blank tmr lol...

Feels different today...new month, new thoughts probably? well, 谋事在人，成事在天...要尽力的...

Life is unpredictable...surprise me? yeah...that's it...surprise me :)
People are interesting creatures to look at and think about, that's without any doubt...

School's exhausting

2009-10-29T18:20:00.004+08:00

Note the figure behind them lol

Some pics taken at URA

...IHG...

Finally, WR is handed in alr! Good job peeps, esp Cindy who also stayed up late too to touch up the WR b4 printing, as well as the rest of my PW peeps who took tremendous effort to do the WR! We all had our share of late nights and fatigue

Now, it's OP and I&R...worry about that next week...A Level Chinese on next Monday alr...

Hope I can still do better for OP, even with the positive comments the vendor gave...group did great this week!

The rest as well too, we all have improvements and know our mistakes alr, so work towards it!

Enjoyed pool for the whole week too! stayed back to play even though I had to go back early...well, gotta enjoy while I can!
also looking forward to tmr's CIP! Won't be late already, I promise.

Monopoly Mac stuff is the craze for some peeps in the class lol, aiming for the 50 grand prize lol...need Sentosa Cove, so Cindy encouraged us to eat more? lol

Ok...gonna revise a bit for Chinese before having an early night...dinner now...cyas...

2009-10-25T00:51:00.002+08:00

been a while since i've posted...

whole week passed by rather fast...got promos results on Tuesday, and basically PW meetings, presentations and more Chinese tutorials......

Promos results were.......ok, i guess...dropped for Chem and especially Chinese...
Improvements for the rest...Bio, GP, CSE...
No jump in grade for Maths however...thank god for the pass though!...thought I would fail...
Seriously gotta work hard for GP especially...got an E that is still...not...very...good...yeah, I keep comparing to my bro who excels in GP in his JC curriculum...guess we each got our strengths and weaknesses perhaps...

OP was all right...know my mistakes already...kept praying hahas...and feeling a bit rigid too...
the rest of the groups did ok and well too....keep it up guys! and work hard for it!

CIP on Friday (Kidsread) was fun fun fun! Was late for the first time...damn it...promise I won't ever be late again...not gonna play pool so late then...sacrifice...
met gabes in the mrt lol...his OP was a bit nervous and all...don't worry, it's like that! Well, he sure entertained the whole class with his actions, the hair-swinging and his rather hilarious actions hehehe...never fail to make us laugh...

Did the actions for the reading part...weird high-pitched voice i did...yucks....at least in front of the kids it's okay...but in front of the rest...sheer laughter lol...Gabes should do it more often next time lol...he does a better job in reading and doing da actions...
Still!...was fun, the Chicken Dance, naming of favourite food, drawing...reading to kids takes us away from the stressful JC life u got to admit that for sure..yeah...that's good!...

got a bit of flu today...shit...so early in the morning...slept for a while after taking medication...then did chinese.............................all the way...
need a B so bad? u could say that...seeing too many Cs around already for the past few years...and now...

doing filming and OP preparation tmr at amanda's house!..need to get video cam back from Hui Jie much much later in the afternoon

sometimes, I question myself:
what's the difference between attractiveness and a strong liking?
Well, perhaps I won't know the answer.
I only ask myself this, and still pondering over it.
Happened...but it still needs time...it's hard...

Dead beat...

2009-10-16T23:09:00.002+08:00

The whole week is over!

For IHG, Darwin got second! Oh yeah, broke the 3rd position curse alr...too bad we didn't win pool, got lotsa pros in other teams. We all learned a thing or two as well!

Went to URA for Learning Journey, not bad at all...managed to see all the planned developments in S'pore...large-scale and small-scale...

Also went to Maxwell to eat after that, instead of touring since it was raining...after that, it was filming and editing for our PW group's video...extremely hilarious to the max!

Did more PW on Thursday, this time with the practice of the scripts we had...

Today was the J2 Graduation Day, did AV stuff backstage....a bit messy but at least the whole thing went pretty well!

Then, had OP! Quite nervous!...known my mistakes alr, will change them and ready myself for the next one...

Now, it's slack time from today until Monday, doing I&R Draft 2 on that day...

Gonna catch up with my sleep alr...lost too much shut-eye for OP...well, it was worth it I guess!...

Results on next Tuesday! Hope my Maths and Chem weren't that bad...especially Maths...had a weird dream about it...forgot about the full details already...nvm...needa get promoted....sian...

2009-10-12T21:16:00.003+08:00

Good long day today!...

Came to school early for meeting regarding the Metro-SIF duty...then PW lecture on OP...
Enrichment Day from 12-3pm: Pop Guitar!
Learned 5 chords and some strumming, namely C, D, G-major, A and E-minor

Class was not bad, although we tend to not get the tempo right sometimes...plus! there is difficulty in switching chords when playing a song...well, this was never easy...but it was a good experience!

After that, Darwin house had gathered and we basically did cheers...tagged along with Ee Hong, helped the girls with the skipping thing, played b-ball...thanks Ee Hong for the teachings! Dun really mind getting hit in the face lol...

hopefully, my aiming can be better next time, and not so ji dong...

tmr is the IHG alr! Didn't practise for pool sia....well, got 2 pros in my team, so I'll give it my best anyway! Good luck to all! :) Also got PW meetings from Tuesday to Thursday, got presentation rehearsal this friday! argh, too soon too soon! lol

2009-10-10T22:05:00.003+08:00

Pics taken at sanctuary, playing UNO stacko a week before promos on the 22nd of Sept...with Gabes, Ee Hong and Hui Jie (forgot to post them on that very day)

Nothing much to do now...so might as well sleep soon...still tired...
Doing PW early in the morning tmr...got some work to do....good thing it keeps me occupied...things still at the back of my head....soon...soon set aside...all for the best I hope

Today, Ee Hong, Gabes and Jasper came over to play mahjong. Jas came a little late due to some things he had to settle, Gabes and Ee Hong arrived first, so we played some mahjong and PS games first...

After that, around 12 plus, we went down and met Jasper at the gate...then played cards until 2:30 (Also seem to repeat myself everytime when I've no topic to talk about, gonna change that habit)
Cause my mum had to do housework, so we had to move down despite the rain...sorry guys for the inconvenience...

Went up and played until 5 then they went off...Jasper was not in a really good mood today...
Cheer up dude :) , and sorry if we angered you if we did

Yep, nothing much today...so I'm kinda bored. Playing the same game everytime...rather bored already...
Next week has 5 full days of activities...looking forward to it! Plus...more AV rehearsals as well!
New mixer haha...but then, at backstage instead, oh well....

Cyas...PW awaits tmr!

Time

2009-10-09T22:49:00.002+08:00

Didn't catch a good sleep last night, tossed and turned for 45mins b4 sleeping, then woke up 4 hours later, tossed for 1 hour or so then slept...
By then, it was already 6:20am, woke up at 7am...dread the missed time for sleeping...

Thinking of too much stuff recently...well...I hope what I did today cleared up some things...please...seriously hope that this won't be further complicated...it's starting to get to me...badly...

Anyway, woke up early due to the IHG pool preliminary round...both Darwin Teams made it in! Woo!...Jasper's team (No. 2) won the first round of the day against Keller, but lost at the second round to the strong Nobel team (got Cuesports member inside), they did their very best! Good job!

After some rounds, it was my team's turn. Played against Adam! Wah, he had 3 consecutive shots in a row, that made me super stressed! But in the end, got lucky and managed to scrape through and win...which I believe was luck. He's got skill, that's for sure!
The other members in my team, were basically pros...real pros sia...they won the sets very well!
Wonder how it will be like next Tuesday...more stress :P

Then, ate with Ee Hong and Jasper....went to get my flu vaccination for the Australia trip...small needle...felt like a prick lol...went home, then rest...cause it seemed that the jab kinda affected my energy level...

Now...here to post, and ponder over some things...before sleeping....dun want another sleepless night again please...tmr guys coming over to play!....can't wait sia! :)
Time will tell if I can sustain the ability to move on...life still goes on...as the days go by...this will clear up...although it will remain in my thoughts for a rather long time...glad promos are over...so it won't affect studies..that's the important thing......I'll get over it soon enough......too scarce a resource time is already...

2009-10-08T16:56:00.004+08:00

Back from AV training at school....nice new mixer ^^ at the control room

Nothing much actually, just learn and test the sound system...also sat at the piano, played some keys here and there....sure wished I learned it when I was younger, oh well...you could say it's never too late to learn, but JC has such a tight schedule...

Also have Guitar classes next week for Enrichment Day...wah, why am I the only person in the class to be separated from the rest??? sian...

Nvm, at least learning the basics are good enough to begin with...

Now, it's slack slack slack...there's the pool IHG tmr for me, round 1...gotta do my best! So have to sleep early......damn it......

ok, cyas!

Exams OOvveerr...

2009-10-07T21:33:00.003+08:00

Exams are finally over! Woooooo....

Chinese and CSE were ok....hope can secure a good pass...

Played bball with the guys after the cse paper, still...my accuracy sucks...needa practise

Had class outing today at Harbourfront, only 7 ppl and I'm the thorn among the roses
Guys went to LAN and I went to Harbourfront instead as I already promised Amanda that I would go, that's not keeping my word at all so, yeah....
Was practically stuck between two choices...oh well....

Instead of going to Sentosa, we went to watch the movie "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" in 3-D
Good and hilarious movie, 3-D effects are good, seen such stuff before in some show I watched (not Spy Kids 3-D, some pirate movie dunno what man, that was years ago, long forgotten)

Went shopping with them before and after the movie. Yes, only guy going, but still, I get to look around, observe and see the things around me...never went to a shopping centre before without my parents, kinda late but I can see the world around me (bad but only expression I can think of)
Honestly not bored at all while with them, although it feels a little weird to enter a shop with women's clothing and none of men's stuff...I'm like a boyfriend to one of them lol (dun misinterpet this please, pure joking here)

Took pics with some of them outside the shopping complex, dunno what it's called argh, forgive my ignorance
After that, left Amanda, Ling Rong, Qian Mei and me. So we went to the hawker centre at the carpark near Vivo for dinner, talked about some things too. I understand now, I know what to do already, so don't worry :)
Went home after that and here I am...
Tmr got an important AV event, the guys actually wanted to come to my house to play in the afternoon, what a clash :(
I see if can make it to a Saturday I hope? yeah, and I apologise for this abrupt cancellation.

Oh, before going off, wanted to wish my mum a happy birthday on the 4th! Forgot to post on that day, so here u are! Ur request is fulfilled hehehe...I wonder if u even know of my blog in the first place, dun think u do but hahaha...

Okay, cyas... it's high time to for me to stop being so quiet, and speak up my intention...if not, it will cause some complications that I really dun want that to happen ever, and I promise that.

Long week X_X

2009-10-02T20:54:00.003+08:00

Woo!...GP, Bio and Chem over...but getting worried alr

GP, I think I screwed up a bit...but bo pian, it's over!

Bio was okay, answered everything...Chem! today was hard, Paper 1 had killed us all. Paper 2, okay but lost some marks...

Bleh....cannot get too worried alr...got Maths, Chinese and CSE left...just a little more here!

Nothing much to blog, only like for Bio, the ans for the qn for the role of mRNA was given by Ms Tan!!! Shucks man...wrote some points, but oh well...overrr alr...rarr

Taking a shorrtt break tonight, then it's CSE and Maths all the way..chiong arrrrrrrrrrrrr........

Still there wandering in my head...still there...

Drained like hell...

2009-09-25T22:53:00.002+08:00

Damn it, the worse thing about stomach flu for me last year was severe diarrhea...

Now.....it's vomitting! Did that three times today, twice during CSE, once during Maths...even got a slight headache after the 3rd time...

And it's some yellow-like liquid (pardon the description), with eyes tearing, joints feeling weak...

This is far worse than last year, despite the less frequent times of diarrhea zzz...

Today went pretty smoothly, got lots of work to do...maths test did ok, maintained a B...need to work on some topics....know my weakness on the bright side...same for chem quiz...

Bio...need a good, clear and focused mind for memorising...so far, only did a few chapters...
CSE!...got a stern reminder (or warning) from the HoD...no pass...no promotion...sheesh...more pressure alr for everyone...

Played board games with the guys at the Sanctuary....ya lar...i'm slow in board games...quite...very? slow...oh well, Ee Hong lol..that's how I play...not bulldozer and charge! :D

Did Night Study with Gabes and Jasper...came home at 9 plus...now relax and rest for tmr...

Praying that I get a good recovery by Monday, and a good rest...same goes to everyone! :)
Good luck for promos and all the way!

Time to K.O....soon...zzzzzz...

worried here and there...studies...others...
Worry too little and worry too much, both are bad? probably, especially the latter...

Mundane

2009-09-24T23:56:00.001+08:00

Ok....woke up quite late...at least I got some rest...

Nothing much except doing cse and bio stuff....revision is super slow here...

Damn promos...it's a lot times more worrying than Os for everyone....stress...

Amanda was also absent, Qian Mei signed out early...take care guys!

Okay...that's all yeah...wonder what's for tmr at school, kinda missed a lot! :(

A week more...

2009-09-20T23:50:00.001+08:00

Hardly any time to blog....so I'll make this quick b4 sleeping...

Everyone's gone through a really hectic week..tests....revision papers to do...quizzes...the lot!....
I'm really glad for the long weekend to recuperate the lost sleeping hours as well the time to revise and collate all my stuff...

Promos are approaching real fast, and soon, we'll all face it and then, finish!
Now's the time to focus, although I'm really sleepy due to the medicine for my flu that somehow acted up just now....sleeping alr...zzz...

Worried for all my subjects...need to get a good pass for everything, striving for an A for chem...the rest, a good pass (C or B if better) For bio...hmm..how should I put it....pass?...may not be enough, but I need to set my goal a little higher here, gonna need the effort though...

CSE and GP, a good pass esp...since they are essay content subjects that I got S grades for in mid-year (dun even go on to bio, I noe alr...disappointing)

A real challenge here, but that's how life is like! Ups and downs...although the uphill is rather higher to cross and overcome...
But everyone can do it! :)... I believe everyone in the class can make it to J2! Push on ppl!
Ok...sleeping alr...nights!...

I will be behind you...watching and giving my full support...you can and will do it...

2009-09-14T22:33:00.002+08:00

Back from school...had night study with Zi Hao
Was with Hui Jie and his friend, Benedict. They left at around 7 plus. Thitipat was there as well, and we talked a lot until the night study ended.

Now doing maths and chem stuff...

Class also celebrated Amanda's birthday hahas...finally 17! I'm sure you had a wonderful celebration today! :)
Couldn't celebrate with her cause I'm in a different class than the rest for chinese...dang it...

Whole day went pretty smoothly, except maths lesson when mdm song flared up...yeah...

other than that...it's all revision and revision...
2 weeks is short, but with enough focus, we can all strive!
Phew...tiring day today somemore...having PE tmr as well...sleeping before 11:15 for sure!

Cyas...
Suppressing...

090909

2009-09-09T23:30:00.002+08:00

It's the middle of the holidays already...everyone's working hard siazx...

Didn't sleep well last night...now bearing a stupid flu that worsened since this morning..sianzx...
my body has become even more sensitive to changes in sleeping time...getting a little sinus....sneezes here and there and voila!

Went to library with Jas and Chee Keong to do maths...took almost an hour to finish 2 integration qns...while sneezing like mad...
For sure, the ppl there are rather bothered by frequent sniffling and sneezing, but they don't seem to be lolzx...really terrible flu...

It worsens while I'm sitting, and it's all right while standing...maybe the pressure difference on my nose in these positions cause this lolzx (Dun get it too lolzx)

090909...nothing really special today despite the unique date combination...except for maybe me sleeping from 7:45 to 10:30pm straight after dinner...now, the nose running tap has stopped...just blocked nasal passages that continue to irritate my breathing

Not a very productive day today..wanted to finish maths, but left one revision paper undone..and have to do chem tmr...

Cannot get sick alr...gonna have to follow my dad's repeated words of sleeping early, which is obviously true...
Ok, gonna end here...do finish the Functions revision paper then it's catching Z (zee) monsters...love the holidays as we can all catch more of them hahazx...cyazx...also watching my weight as the revision has caused neglecting of exercising...lolzx...

Aadiperukku

2009-09-06T00:06:00.004+08:00

Ok, supposed to post this on Friday but nvm...(blog is seriously dead except for some on the tagbox lol)

The day passed by rather quickly...chem test was ok...
The teacher from China came to teach my chinese class today!...oo..
Daryl was like cursing all the way...unable to understand what he's saying lolzx....really funny...
He was talking about 谚语 derived from 三国演义, and they are really useful indeed!
Will try to use them wisely in my 作文
You have to admit his accent is hard to catch, but in time, it's actually not difficult to comprehend him hahazx...I was nodding most of the time, catching his words, despite having some difficulty...

And...my phone was almost spammed with SMSes during the lesson hahazx...lucky he didn't notice i hope...one moment one hand down holding the phone, taking a peek at the msg and feeling the buttons...another hand holding the pen...then after that, hand up holding the paper...
glad that passed...watching the short clip of 诸葛亮 using straw to collect arrows was simply amazing and aweing...

Played pool with Jasper at the Sanctuary after that...im not pro lahzx...Ee Hong and Gabes came by as well...Ee Hong left first due to Ambassador ushering the guests in for the Aadiperukku event...played Monopoly with Gabes and Jasper...

At around 5:45pm, went off with Jasper to the hall for the event, with Gabes going for CIP.
The whole event was good...although most speeches were in Tamil.
Adam was really good, his speech in Tamil is spectacular and quite fluent for a non-Tamil lolzx...
Performances after singing, our school teachers' performance was splendid lolzx..

After prize presentation, had Indian vegetarian buffet! Was quite nice, especially liked the spiciness of the food hehezx...
Talked to Grace, Joan and Jasper...Isabelle was there cleaning up and we were there talking to Mr Lim, until she came to us hahazx...

After that, went home with Jasper...

Now...it's practically devoting time for Bio hw...gotta buck up yeahzx...

You already have reached it...

17

2009-09-01T12:00:00.003+08:00

Okay...finally 17!...uh...don't feel anything different though yeahzx...

Want to thank everyone for their wishes! (Whether by SMS, Fb, thoughts, etc.)

Really treasure them :)

And it's raining quite heavily outside, so will be held up at home revising for tmr's Chinese Mock Exam and probably other subjects; only 4 weeks to promos...

Time has really past too fast...one moment in Orientation, now it's like about to enter the next year soon enough...

Had the Teachers' Day Celebration yesterday...had worn a dark top and school uni pants...didn't wear the sunglasses (No thank you!..) too, practically near-blind and I need to see what's going on at the control room!...

Also passed Hazel the Teachers' Day card for our tutors, and Qian Mei...your hair is different hahazx...looks not bad (if u are seeing this post, then hahazx)

Luckily, Mr R was there to help out...the whole thing went pretty smoothly yeahzx...

Still unable to join my class...sian...want to join them the next year for events like National Day, this Teachers' Day... :(

When the whole thing ended, the whole crew had to pack up and ended about 1 plus..also waited for our CCA teachers to be in the AV room, when we presented to them the cards and presents...

Jie Han also gave me an orange carebear as my birthday present! Thank you very much!...

lol...the cards that I bought had chinese characters...and Mr R was figuring out what they meant...the other teachers were deciphering them and it was a really hilarious sight... XD

snapped a few pics of them too...

After that, quickly rushed back to Regent for the celebrations...took the route by the canal since by bus is too damn long...cut across the Villa Verde...zig-zagging across the roads...didn't get lost lolzx...

BUT...by the time I exited the area...the students were released already! damn it...oh well...took pics with Evia, Jia Li and Hon Yee who were standing outside the gate...

Went in and saw my ex-Regent class/schoolmates!...they all said I somehow slimmed down a lot!...really?

After talking to some of them, saw Mr Teo who was already leaving...bade him farewell and a happy Teachers' Day!...

Bought food at the canteen stall, they still recognise me hahazx...trip down memory lane...

After that, went to play LAN and pool with Zi Hao, Bryan, Ivan, Keith and his younger brother...

The place was quite expensive -- $5.80 an hour! Although the environment was not much to my liking...at least we still had loads of fun!

Keith's mum then paid for our dinner...felt bad and took a less expensive meal...

Went home and played all the way...until now...

gonna play a while more then study!...

Things are gonna change now...it's time to be open to any opportunity that arises, and grab it.

2009-08-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Long week...had to work the whole weekend for the WR...whole group got a high ME! wooo...
They did most of the work yeah, I did the bibliography and evidence...

Our effort was paid off, but still more room for improvement too...excellent job PW partnerzx...

This week was really hectic...Teacher's Day Rehearsal was rather chaotic...the mic went peak and speakers were blasting such a screeching sound!...was even afraid what will happen next, fingers ready at the control knobs, turning down at any time....yeah...was really nervous at that time...
BYSD...alr thinking of what to dress up as...won't be doing ACES cause of duty oh yeah...heard it was a 3km walk along the canal

Today's Aadiperukku rehearsal was nothing much...went home early cause i was basically an extra even though my CCA teacher wanted me to help out...explained to him and got the clearance...maybe if this goes on for the next rehearsal, won't be down alr...

Lessons as usual...laughters here and there during Night Study...my voice really that deep meh?
seems that it has become really easy to mimic for everyone... :P
Poststik (dunno how to spell) pasted here and there (those who were at Night Study will understand what I'm talking about)

Tired every single night...didn't even eat dinner with family due to studies...hope this works well for promos...
Also want to see everyone in J2!

Got tons of hw to tackle this week...need a sleeping marathon...good thing the weekends and teacher's day are here!

hahazx...everyone's had it hard and tiring...now for a temporary long break...recuperate and work hard peeps! :)

2009-08-17T18:33:00.003+08:00

Some pics taken from the Homecoming Alumni Dinner...Dang!...should've taken during the Mass Dance, got some hilarious moves by the ppl down there lol...

Now there's time to post...so i'll type while i can...

had the Homecoming event on Saturday, reported to school at 10:30am for rehearsal...

set up equipment at the concourse and ready the stuff at the hall for the Alumni and SCs to rehearse their own part...

Nothing much at the concourse...just adjust the suitable volume for the singer and his guitar....

the hall crew had a lot in their hands...but in the end, they too played out their role...good job! as Mr R said lol...

While at the concourse, the catering service had served light snacks on the tall table tops with punch and cocktail near the staircase at the P-Square...managed to take some and tasty they were lol...

Also saw An Na at the event too! Her CCA had booked a place and she had to come, was chatting a little with her when the majority went up to the hall for the event...she was waiting for her friend so she came down

My CCA-mate mistook her for my elder sis (which I don't even have one!), cause she was quite tall due to her high heels lol...

After that, b4 Mr R was about to be announced as one of the 10-year staff award recipient...we quickly rushed back up with the equipment at the concourse put back at LT2...lucky went back just in time with minutes to spare...so all of us cheered for him at the control room lol...

The rest of the time...was quite long but time still passed quickly...the Alumni even helped take food for us! thanks a lot...but I couldn't finish unfortunately...all the running about to get the equipment had diminished my appetite...esp the part when the video cam went out of memory...had to run all the way back to AV room to get a disc with space...the dilemma in the room was unbearable at that point of time..luckily found it in the nick of time and rushed back to the hall to swap discs..phew!

One thing I did most was shifting and bringing equipment...speakers...wires...magic box...trolley......the lot...running as well...tiring but exhilarating!...

This CCA can actually help train stamina lol...i even said that to Mr R and he laughed too...

The whole event ended at around 10 plus in the night...Dad picked me up and something happened...

One alumnus fainted along the roadside and he thought it was me cause i was wearing totally black as well, but my sms stopped his worries...that was close...I still wonder how that poor guy had fainted...oh well...smth out of the blue happens sometimes...

Didn't manage to touch my homework on Saturday...chiong all the way on the following day

Did chem, some bio, chinese and studied for SPA today...

Today was quite ok...the SPA was pretty ok too...no significant errors made...but at the first part, the many attempts to add cold water to the beaker and styrofoam cup had made me panic quite a bit...everyone else was writing or about to finish the first part and i'm still there...

Even ran out of cold water and had to ask the examiner for another small bottle...

Other than the short panic attack..the rest went all right...

That's 7.5% done for all of us...everyone did their best!

Nothing much for the rest of the day...accompanied Jasper to Lot 1 to buy stuff...and now here I am...Listening to some stuff now...doing homework l8r and have to sleep early due to PE...cyas...

2009-08-15T00:09:00.003+08:00

Ok....got back from Homecoming Alumni Rehearsal an hour ago...damn long day today...sigh...AV is tiring but a good and fruitful experience!

Sounded like a frog today due to the phlegm in my throat that was collected for the past few days due to flu and sore throat...was even wearing a mask to prevent anyone else from getting affected..
thanks everyone for being concerned and asking me if I was all right! :)

Almost fell asleep during CSE...lucky my position was in such a way that the teacher didn't see me dozing off (was looking at the paper)

Chem...got an incident that occured...Christine fell down from her chair while attempting to do the qn that Ms Aw was urging ppl to do...really ouch! cause it was quite a thump felt and heard from the whiteboard...yep...hope she's all right now......lol...

Maths...gonna have integration for the next chapter! oh nooo...
Also had the Dept Test today....damn it!...lost some marks due to careless mistakes again....can actually, for the first time, do everything tsk...oh well...it's over already...but feel more confident than the first two Dept Tests that were done badly...

Almost dozed off during Chinese again...either my mind turns off or the teacher's words can put me to sleep...no offence lol...interesting yet long chapter though...

Got the Homecoming rehearsal...got the easier duty of manning the equipment at the concourse...set up with Stacy with some of Jie Ying's help, thx for helping too!

The other 6 members involved..were really busy man...the hall is so busy that even their dinner we bought for them were untouched!...feel bad...should do the hall sometime soon...want to make myself busy..
They also faced a hard time of coordinating too...seriously...it's hard to have so many ppl in the small control room with someone popping out of nowhere from the last 2 rehearsals, coming in and dunno doing what...I wasn't inside so I'm not sure what totally happened...really pissed off Mr Riduwan...

Oh!...and one thing that brought back memories...the Fun Dance music!...uh oh...I admit some moves I did were like goofed up lol...someone can rmb that hahas...if u noe who I'm talking about :D
Really fun...I really was quite 激动 hahas....so she beared with me...

Rehearsal ended around 10 plus...debriefing...and now, I need to report to school in < 12 hours...homecoming mah...lol... ok...gonna sleep soon for tmr will be taking up the whole day!...we made a joke of having 12 hours of CIP in school...and since that it doubles on weekends..makes it 24 hours...so we're literally having CIP the whole day! lol...good one...

:)...

2009-08-12T17:47:00.003+08:00

Back home...waiting to see doctor already....

Dumb flu and sore throat, hope nothing gets worse man...

Wrong time to fall sick!...hate to get MC now...missing lessons are not an option now....but at the expense of health...can be considered...just need more sleep for me...

It's really terrible....one late night at 1am equals to morning sinus and much later, flu!

Damn PW's always making me sleep late, much to the dislike of my parents and me, but more on the former...always making noise whilst doing PW...

can't be helped really...their concern is always there everytime...

Ok, before going...now's the time to talk about last Saturday's Chinese opera performance!

Went to watch with Cindy and Qian Mei, my PW-mates!...wooo...

the play was good, although the first part was rather draggy...the last part's where all the laughter arrives...tou you!....

got one guy at the back making annoying comments...stupid...just keep them to yourself for the benefit of others, this is not your home for crying out loud

ok...brb...gotta go...will continue later!

Loonngg week...

2009-08-07T22:45:00.001+08:00

Wah...this is a very long week indeed...

AV Rehearsals for today's National Day Celebration...since last week Wednesday, till this week's Monday and Wednesday...
Hectic yeah...but gain lots of experience....and more sweat lol...

Also stay back after school to do work and consult...until 9pm...rarr...hope this works out to improve my results...well, at least I can concentrate a bit...slowly...

lessons are okay...always seem to fall asleep during Chinese lesson...eyes stinging...then the nodding of the head...mind half-awake...good thing my teacher doesn't mind that much that she will scold me, only reminding or commenting that I'm tired

sleeping for 5 hours or less for the past three days due to homework...goodness...health at stake for many of us...

Today woke up so early and reported to school at 6am!...damn early, but it's nice to see how dark the place is lol...dunno why...
Duty at the Parade Square was ok...no mistakes fortunately...if not will kanna screwed up :P...
Went to class after the whole thing and the break...dunno why suddenly sing ??happy birthday?? when I came in??
Played charades with Ms Yeoh, also asked about her personal info hahas...I'm not very good at charades apparently :(...

Event at the hall...good performances must say...way better than Secondary School!...the last part: People doing tao pok...throwing ppl and catching, fighting!? (really, but it seems like it's for fun -_-), line-ups and running around...wah...sure wish I can join my class...hope next year can...
Got one problem when the laptop battery went out and the guys breakdancing were rather pissed...hmph...well, something happened during rehearsals and things were apparently different than what was practised...that was what I heard of from the crew in charge of the hall...(5 ppl become 4, then 3...now it's 5 again with the teacher inside?!...impromptu sia...) There was also an inside joke regarding the disc with that music burned in it...haha...damn funny :D...

Met Ee Hong at canteen at 2 plus, ate and went b-balled with him as well as Jasper and Gabe until 4:30pm...tiring sia but super fun!...I'll buck up on my basics, thanks a million guys!

Accompanied Jasper to eat...rushed home, bathed, went to eat and then went to Bukit Gombak for CIP...the kid Jasper and I tended to was cute and shy....super short attention span too!...He always focused on Ling Rong until she left to another table hahas...that's when he started paying attention to us telling the story...let him colour too...we talked about a story on My Chair...and changed to robots...robot chair lol...
Also, kinda heard some kid saying the F word!...wooah...that's a problem alr...
Overall, it was really fun! Just that kids can be rather irritating...being patient with them is challenging...oh well, we were probably like that last time hahas...

Well, today was a really hot day...sweated since I arrived in school till the CIP gah...rather unbearable the heat...

okay...just gonna hang out online listening to Mr Brown's podcasts...sleeping soon...got a Chinese opera performance to watch...

cyas!...

I don't know what to say...you catch my attention everytime without fail...

PTM + Lesson

2009-08-02T00:17:00.002+08:00

Parent Teacher Meeting was ok...just that I have learned my lesson the hard way...poor results...

Seems that I have to change my study methods...Mrs Lee even advised me to go for the Night Study Programme..all right, will be seriously considered!...

For GP, will always kanna reminded sternly (scoldings more like, by my mum due to his tone) by my bro for writing poorly almost everytime..sighs...well, I am your first ever student if you become a teacher with that scholarship...gonna be hard and you have to be patient man...

I need to remove the mindset of doing homework for the sake of it...it's true...once done, considered lost...there would be no passion in my studying if I do work for the sake of them and not acquire such useful knowledge for better use...what will become of my future?...gotta change that...need help....

2009-08-01T01:00:00.002+08:00

Zzz..recently woke up from a good nap...had a slight flu today...ate medicine and dozed off...

Today was a tiring day...slept at 1am plus due to WR...many thanks to my group for staying up late too!...
Was struggling to keep awake during lesson time...eyelids too heavy to lift up lol...even when after school...consulted Chinese tutor on 作文 and almost fell asleep right next to her...almost dozed off...she even tapped me and said: "你太累了吧..." gasp...

Had AV and China Desk phototaking today...brought the Orientation Shirt, China Desk Shirt along...three sets of clothes worn..
had to miss a bit of maths and the whole Chinese lesson...oh well...i'll be missing out some stuff, have to catch up...esp maths...need to understand Summation of Series better!...

Stayed back for Homecoming Alumni Event but they said the concourse will not be allocated to until the last rehearsal which is the day before it...lol...
thought I had to stay so late until 10:30pm or so...but reached home at around 6pm..dozing off in the bus again...knees always instantly relaxing and making me squat down..luckily, got back up as soon as the knees start relaxing...

Goodness...I hope the e-mail sent to the Tian Yun Beijing Opera Society will go through...spent some days doing it up...
Ok...gotta sleep in a few minutes...Parent-Teacher meeting...and loads of homework this weekend...

Sometimes the things that I think of most...never happen...at first, I looked forward to looking after the house while my parents go to Malaysia for family matters...even thought of vacuuming the floor, using the washing machine, preparing own meals...man...was so enthusiastic about it...even hoped my brother would substitute my parents for the PTM...in the end...parents were not going...argh...
There are similar cases to this, so I guess expect the unexpected...or expect the opposite for me :|...

It's high time I start focusing and temporarily keep my mind off my feelings and thoughts, for the upcoming tests and exams...can't help it, but it really distract me...lack of sleep too...if someone can do that..then so can I in focusing...(All talk, no action for me -- gonna prove that wrong)...one step at a time...too slow/fast can kill that momentum.

Struggles...stress...focus...
I need music to de-stress...games are becoming rather distracting although I hate to admit that...maybe I can get a hobby of playing a musical instrument...let out stress for me...close your eyes and play on...that's what I dream and think of a lot these days... :)

You're special...that's one thing...

2009-07-30T21:36:00.006+08:00

Long day...So many ppl not here today...Amanda signed out at 1:30pm...

This virus is really spreading around...even the newspaper mentions it...bad...

Really wish them a speedy recovery so the whole class can be together again!...Get well soon!

Almost fell asleep during Chinese and Bio Lecture...lucky my mind's half-awoken state prevents me from sleeping...thankfully lol...

For PE, did basketball...did shooting...thanks Mr Hiap for teaching me the proper steps!...starting to like basketball alr...

However...I injured my ring finger on my right hand...the joint is swollen and worse, I can't even bend it to touch my palm properly...having difficulty alr...

Damn it, same thing for my other ring finger...now both can't bend down properly...crap...oh well...too bad...no pain no gain here (though it's rather permanent)

Ok..back to work...s?

Is it me or you? Or both of us? I really really hate to say that it's you...really...I don't even want to think of that...but it has been inside me for some time....always having the thought of me being the one who's wrong...

But now...I keep wondering: It's getting harder to even communicate with you, even a question asked...gets somehow turned down...the response is rather................harsh?

I still think it's me... I'm thinking too much...over-sensitive, hesitant and selfish me...but, I wonder if it's just gonna be the eyes doing all the talking...no chance at all...

It's all in you, or up to you......depending on the interpreting...if you understand what I'm really trying to mean...or not...then so shall it be...

But speak from your heart at that moment, not your mind...I would have no right to change your mind once set...just hope you understand my meaning...

Now or never

2009-07-29T00:12:00.001+08:00

I need a wake-up call...a rude and good one...badly...

Thinking too much every single bloody day is always affecting my focus on my studies...music, thoughts, feelings, actions are always in my head, this circular motion seems perpetual, seriously. Regarding what happened today was too damn fast...and making me realise that: This behaviour in school is not really you (Is it you?)...take a look at yourself at home (It is really different, not afraid of expressing my views). You are always affected by external factors...noise...comments...the lot...especially one problematic one...

This forsaken one has really changed the way I am....trying to fit in...impress...being lazy and all...
It has really warped my whole way of thinking at school...To me, I don't seem to have an opinion of my own (hesitance), afraid of negative remarks and all that crap...always swaying to other people's comments, mindful of them and in the end, I'm stepping on my own foot...I'm not doing anything right for myself. Well, that probably explains why I have problems evaluating...

I've got to stop this bullshit, or else it will really cost me my education in the near future (promos, A Levels). It will also be a waste of time staying back one year to catch up.
Even my bro said, "I can do it. So can you." Excuses of Easier said than done are always there...to thwart my ever-worrying mind..."It's time to stop being neutral everytime" and "Don't be too nice, or else people will climb over your head" a few said to me. It's really hard to not be too nice since this is a habit in me since young...no cynical thoughts are good...

Seems weird to say this, but I WANT a scolding. A good scolding...so bad, terrible and raw that it can wake me up from going back to la-la land and knock me back to reality...no wandering thoughts, music...all those redundant thinking..so I can gain back that focus I lost so long time ago since Primary School...

It's time to wake up...NOW
Be yourself (Which I'm still not), You decide and choose who you want to be, Be more realistic

Weekend + CIP

2009-07-26T23:17:00.003+08:00

CIP training was really fun!...storytelling to children is a good idea in the first place, can see how patient we are with them...

Called the Kidsread programme, purpose is to read to children from lower-income families, thanks to the support from the GRC there. Basically gonna help them learn by engaging them in activities after listening to the story read to them...

We were supposed to break up into groups to present the different storybooks in our own ways, explaining the essential stuff like New Words, Activities, Things we are using......

Group did on the book "Joseph had a little overcoat"...at first Amanda, Isabelle, Xiu Hui and I (or in other words, our group) planned to sing the song at the back of the book...which was quite hard to catch the tune from it...attempting to sing it in hilarious ways...but in the end...we just thought of explaining.

It was a good experience learning...yeah...thanks Christine for organising this event!

After that, went to West Mall...waited for family and changed my service provider to Singtel, as reception for Starhub is practically dead..hope this works better as if it doesn't, it's rather a waste of money...we'll see tmr...during school time...

Now, for this weekend, workload is acceptable, although PW is already killin us..WR Draft 1 is due this Thursday...and EoM...need I say it?
It will probably turn out rather bad...since the tutor already highlighted the problems in the previous lecture, which are what I face everytime...oh well, no point worrying here...

gotta sleep soon!...probably assisting in AV where I'm needed I think...waking up early again....
Cyas and nites!...

2009-07-24T23:38:00.004+08:00

Ok..this whole week was very hectic for me and CCA mates, perhaps everyone else too...AV duty everyday!...reporting at 7am was really rush..so this weekend is really appreciated!...

CCA is really starting to kick in...busy here and there...but at least there's some action hahas...
We all made some mistakes..so we'll just have to change it the best we can...

AGM..duty...whew...more to come -- Homecoming for Alumni (7:30 - 10:30pm!!!)
National Day rehearsal (dunno when)
Teacher's Day rehearsal (same as national day)

Apart from CCA, the workload seems fairly ok...but im sure it will pile up soon enough...

Tutorials...doing my best to focus...hang in there...

Today had class photo-taking...laughter here and there...lol...and sunglasses?...yeah...lol...

Did PW discussion with group, finished up my pile of unfinished surveys, thanks to my group members! :)

Went home with Jasper, Isabelle, Ling Rong and Qian Mei...thanks for waiting too!..accompanied with Jasper to buy his dinner...and some stuff we all talked...yeah...ok...oh well...it's like that lor...lol...

And...played Poker on Facebook...woo!....played until shuang...at least I know how to play better...and Jasper...that 20k u lost was really suay lor lols... XD

Now...sleeping soon..need the energy for tmr's class planned CIP!...looking foward to it really...

ok... :)

Long day...

2009-07-22T22:35:00.004+08:00

Ok, gonna make this quick b4 sleeping...

Had short lessons today...left for AV Duty during Bio Tutorial...missed the lecture on Protein Synthesis...oh well...

Didn't have to do much backstage...just sitting and sitting...napping as well...ok, it was nothing to do at all...the GP Enrichment Assembly Programme was for J2s...should've paid attention, but could bearly hear a sound from the speaker due to different speakers relayed here and there probably...

Actually lost a coin toss bet to Charlene and Debbie...tails...means Daniel and I had to go down...lol...

Now recently found out that my class had stayed at LT2...didn't go out to the booths...shuang...hahas...nvm...

had to leave halfway during the ACM training session at LT3 due to AGM!...shucks...actually caused the whole event to be delayed...apologised to the seniors and my CCA mates..."I apologise.......on my behalf..." seems that this sentence made them laugh...lol...

Ok...the AGM was quite a success!...gifts...speech...movie "Push"...pizza, fries, drinks, pictures...
enjoyed myself yep...just that sitting on the table was really uncomfortable and the air-con became a little too cold...

Whole event ended at around 7:30pm...walked home via the PCN (Lane at the canal)

Now here...

Tmr is the A Level Chinese LC...oh no...gotta dig my ears and listen really carefully...dun want to do badly...hopefully a stroke of luck in my answering...hahas...

Sleeping soon alr...need the energy for this and duty tmr as well...shagged...

Nites...and good luck :)

Eye contact...smile?...trying to do that..."Smack! my own face"

Me...

2009-07-20T17:53:00.005+08:00

Ok...back from school...

today's one of the times when I can absorb what the tutors are saying...yay....

so far, the stress can be managed...but it would start to have huge pressure sooner or later...

I've been thinking of something for the past few weeks...about how my own life is being lived...

It really seems that I have to put in huge effort in whatever I want or do...things that come to me, requires immense effort and devotion/focus as an aid...

So far, what my dad has told me...things that you do need effort, as long as you feel that you did your best, then that's it, what can you do? There's also "Don't just think, action!"lol...can that be placed in other things other than studies and work???...

Unfortunately, things don't really turn out that easily summarised for me...

of course, things like exams need these two in order to get good results and all that...but there are other things like relationships or something like that

My brother occasionally says that I would get a girlfriend before he does...that is hard to believe since he's 19 for goodness sake...well, I know what he's like, so it's like a little tough for him to go ahead and get one (I'm probably saying this in a blunt way..sorry bro)

Comes down to me...I have a somewhat similar problem, although I wish to not have surreal thoughts that seem really distracting...I'm just.......hesitant...unsure of what my next move is...a weak excuse in fact

"Will that person not like me...what if this that do dah...what are that person's thoughts...what if it's the wrong timing to go..." worries worries worries...

These are some of the hesitant thoughts I have everytime...you could say I'm not open and quite introverted, that's true...

Stupid me...yes..there are things like prioritising and all that necessary crap, but my real thoughts are locked up in a cage in my mind... want to help...care...helpful...concerned..uurghh....

not many people know what my real character is I feel...especially at home...I'm a whole different person...like the opposite of quiet for example...

So...to sum it all (like a GP summary, the way I phrase it X_X)...I want to know how...it is like to be in one...I want to make that person happy other than my parents and family...yeah, this is like a weird way of saying it...but I'm worried by essential stuff for my future (already mentioned)...hesitance is one key thing...

It is true that such thoughts are meant to keep me focused...but this struggling is draining me down and suffocating me like a cloth wringed around the neck...time to give in?...not so fast but...yeah...

It's not easy...but I'm probably going for it (what the heck?!)...can't 守株待兔 and wait for the other one to "get"me, that's just wrong...

Priorities first, but with some other feelings inside them...

This is like the first time I'm divulging my own feelings...afraid of negative comments...but slowly...no longer...doing my best to not think so much...and I'm sorry if there's any misleading or misunderstandings.

2009-07-19T00:00:00.002+08:00

Ok...gonna post on yesterday's (technically on my clock) small movie gathering to watch the Half-Blood Prince...

Met Gabriel at Yew Tee, boarded the train where Jasper was (searched the wrong section for him! like hide-and-seek since he was sitting down lol...)

Met Amanda, Ee Hong, Amanda and her boyfriend Chester just near the ticket gates...

After that, went to eat lunch and arcade! Although arcade is not much of an appeal to me...i still enjoyed the laughs and excitement!
Quickly went to get snacks and waited for Mayvin, then it was movie time...

The movie pretty much pales in comparison to the book definitely, but still, quite a good movie...

Walked around Junction 8 for a bit, arcade for a short time, took pics then we went our separate ways at the MRT...

Went to eat at CCK interchange with Jasper and Gabe...took a while to decide to go to the interchange hawker centre as we were walking around Lot 1 hunting for appropriate places to eat lol...oh well...that walking made me hungry...

Ate then went home...and here I am...
Gonna have to do the CSE Essays and Maths tmr...work hard!

When opportunites await, I would want to be there to help you...

Life in the fast lane

2009-07-17T21:16:00.003+08:00

Short weekend but still a good break from the fast life of school...cca...tutorials...lectures...running...

Need a good coach or tutor for GP and possibly CSE...my bro should fit the job hahas...need help for the expression and evaluation...or...the AMS can do that too!...yeah!...

Well, apart from his tone (even my parents agree) that I'm already getting used to, I hope I won't get distracted and learn as much from him...

Oh, and bio got a bloody U...damn! Next time...I'll work even harder to not get an ugly U or S...on any subject...that's one goal I can make...

sigh...time will tell how much I can improve...slowly...dun give up!

Catching a glimpse of you...