Break day...

took a break from the spree of staying in school.....played for about the whole day!....sinful ttm lol....

consolidation of work is not much actually, just that I hope that my worries for the A level papers won't really be out!....
yeah, even though it's a so-called rest day, again..thought a lot about where we are now, at this juncture...
losing focus over these few days......I'm starting to lose my original mental focus alr....and well, all i can say to myself is this:
Stop trying to figure out already, and face it. I can't do anything about it at this point of time, since it's obvious that any attempt will not make things easy, especially for your easily-distracted and wondering mind. I can only sit there and only wonder whether I am of any help at all; the rest is up to the other party. That's their own lives they're running, so stop poking further at it and analysing. I can only go with the flow and must stop anticipating every minute detail or action shown, let things be as it should be. Whether I am talked to or not, or whether how much effort I have put in in trying to communicate, is the result of my rather foolish actions you did last time, and I can't really do much about it. There's no quicksave or quickload like in a game, this is life; what's done's done, and one of the things I have to do is to adapt.
It seems like I'm lying to myself, talking about facing it, and in the end, I did nothing but make things worse. I need to re-develop my discipline again, and only hope for the best....that things are fine on the other side....
I feel like I'm a lost soul, searching and seeking for something that may be there or not.........


well....that's part of what I feel now, getting part of this huge load off my chest....and I may have to cast this aside first and think of that bungling obstacle we call As...
I just hope that at the end of the long tunnel, things will be better than I thought, and also that it is mutual on both sides.....






all right........let's get back already...I've got a lot to catch up from this long break, gotta prepare and ready up. Jiayous! :)